Story of Stubble!

On one random day, someone asked, 'Why don't Gods, except Brahma ji,  have moustache and beards?'

This question got me thinking and I wondered, why villains are mostly either stubbled or bearded!  Why a chocolaty hero is always cute without stubble! and why defence forces have made a clean shave face a mandate! Why does every groom (Indian particularly) get clean shaved on his wedding day?! 

While I wondered these, my best friend confided in me.

'I like him. He loves me. But I just feel he is not clean. You know what I mean? He is never clean shaved except once for a official client meeting and he looked so handsome then!'

The poem below tells her tale with just a few twists and twirls.

He loved her, she liked him too,

He brought her flowers one day, 

Red, yellow and blue.

She hushed and blushed,

as he proposed,

He handed her the flowers

while she happily posed.

Then she imagined, 

what it would be like,

to kiss this man,

whose beard was tiny spike.

It meant dirty, 

villainous and unclean,

she had dreamt of a man, 

who knew how to preen.

'I wish he was clean shaved'

without moustache and stubble

He would have looked so great,

not tired and dull.

This is what true love is, 

when you read what eyes convey,

The boy understood what she meant,

and promised her to come back again another day.

Next day he was there again,

this time with a red rose,

'I love you darling'

he uttered with calm and compose.

She looked at him, 

he was neat and smart.

His clean shaven look bowled her over,

along with his big heart. 

Married they are now,

happy and gay,

she likes his clean face,

so he shaves every day! 

Note: This post is a part of the Protest Against Smelly Stubble Activity in association with BlogAdda.

(The cartoons are drawn by me and are copyrighted :D)

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When A Nightmare Is Just Averted..

Have you ever been in a situation where you know you in a trouble and you have to wait for 12 hours or so to see if you can come out of it? A situation where it is not you but your most loved one who is in trouble? Has it happened to you when someone else does something and you hold yourself responsible for it relentlessly? 

I lived it couple of days back! And I can't explain what a traumatic situation it was! 

As many of you already know that I am doing my MA in Psychology from IGNOU and I have my second year exams in late third week of December. So this Saturday I was lazily lying on the bed and reading my psychology stuff on laptop while Pahal was sitting right next to me on the bed watching her favorite cartoon show on the TV. 

Suddenly out of the blues, Pahal exclaims 'mumma.. see it went inside my stomach!' I thought I didnt hear her clearly so I looked at her and pat she said it again, 'mumma see it is here inside my stomach', pointing to her petite stomach. 

I couldn't understand her so asked, 'what went inside?' 

'A green color button'

'Button? How come?'

'I ate it just now!'

'But where did you find the button from?'

'I found it from there', she replied pointing towards the pile of her other tiny bit toys lying around on the floor. 

'But there was no button in there?' I generally make sure that no micro things like pins, buttons etc lie anywhere around Pahal. I was kind of sure that there was no button around. 

'It was here mumma. It was a green color button'

'How did you eat it?'

'With my teeth. See I have so many white teeth.. see..', she said as she opened her mouth wide and pointed to her tiny pearls. 

I looked into her mouth and saw absolutely no trace of any button or any green color. And then I looked at the cartoon where two characters were arguing with each other over a small eatable. 

I got my answer. Pahal didn't eat any button. 

1. She does not put anything in her mouth. Nothing at all. 

2. She was right there with me on the bed and I didnt notice any green colo button anywhere

3. She was busy watching cartoon and thus I was sure that she had imagined eating the button

In this whole self-analysis process, I had completely forgotten that button can just not only be eaten, it can also be swallowed! 

The green button that Pahal had swallowed

Also, I had forgotten that when Pahal first told me that something had gone inside her stomach, I had woken up from my reverie which means that while I sat next to her, I was almost oblivious to her presence. 

Still I made her cough once and she coughed clearly. I called up Sanjay and told him everything and he calmly replied 'now, lets wait for her to poop.'

I made Pahal drink a glass of coconut water so that her wind pipe and food pipe clear out and then as time passed and she behaved normal, I began to forget about it. In the evening, on Sanjay's return we talked about it. 

Pahal's dad was firm that she had swallowed something for sure as she never says anything bizarre but I was kind of relaxed that she didn't. I had read a post on Swapna's blog where her daughter also claimed she had taken a pin inside but she actually hadn't. 

In the meantime, Sanjay continuously maintained that his daughter had indeed swallowed something and I was just laughing at his sillyness for laying so much thrust on a 3 yr old's statement. 

Finally next morning, as Pahal pooped, a small green colored button appeared. Right from her tiny stomach that she claimed the button went into. 

That small green button proved me wrong! It proved Pahal right. And it indeed proved Sanjay right in believing and placing so much trust in his daughter's blabbering. 

With the green button lying in that yellow colored shit, I exhaled a breathe of relief that if something went inside her, it had come out on its own. But the button also brought few revelations and questions for me. 

After seeing the button, I was relieved in a way but was also tensed for another. Does this signal that I need to monitor my ways of parenting? Does this mean I am not being a good, watchful mother? 

I spent many hours in blaming myself for this nightmare that luckily got averted. I realized that right now, till my daughters turns 8 or so, my main responsibility lies in knowing her, in understanding her. 

I compared myself with Sanjay and found myself so belittled and stupid. He, who spends half of the time with Pahal as compared to me, knows her much better than me. 

He loves her immensely and truly for he trusts her more unlike me. I had the over confidence in myself that led me to brush off her statement but he, despite all odds, continued to believe that if his daughter, once in 3.5 yrs, said she had eaten something means she had actually eaten something. 

This might seem a very trivial incident that we may just guffaw about but for me this is a big lesson of motherhood. 

I have learnt to not just listen to my instincts more mindfully but to listen to my child's instincts as well. 

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WE and AAP...The People of India

Note: This timely post comes from a friend and a reader, Shilpi Tyagi, a young girl who feels so strongly for her country from thousand of miles away. 

I was thinking why I was feeling so much for AAP. I had least interest in politics. I used to hate those moments when my dad browsed through news channels for political updates but today I am awake at 2 am to watch the results of Delhi elections. 

I am awake till 2 am because I want to see how the people of India support the small gamut of people who take it upon themselves to change the system - a task that seems no less than moving a mountain. 

I would call Arvind Kejriwal's decision to enter politics as emotional. I have a feeling that I can strongly relate to what he must have felt when he started all of this. 

When he started it, he underwent a trigger, a sudden surge of fire and a rock hard determination that he would bring a change, no matter what. 

I feel that all of us would have felt this emotion, this fire within us sometime or the other but we all are well trained in nipping it into the bud thinking what can I, only I, do? A drop doesn't count in an ocean, anyway! 

I would not talk for a bigger platform but would confine it to our day to day routine. I have also faced and won the miniature versions of similar battles in my professional and personal life. People call me introvert. They believe I am tight lipped though I dont accept it because I know that I am not an introvert, I am a sensible talker, who talks only when required, or atleast I like to think of it this way :)

But one question that I am unable to find an answer to is - there are people who are still against AAP. The people who voted for other parties. I wonder what makes them do that! 

Are there really any reasons or is it just the pre conceived notion that no one can really do anything good for us...that too without being asked to? 

I viewed a millions of interviews of APP workers, other parties and other common man but cud not find any reason to be against AAP.

I believe that if I were in their shoes, I would have answered all the questions in the same manner and spirit as these people are answering, with all honesty.

But then I tell myself that there are people of all kinds in the country. People who strive for change, people who thrive on change and then the one who are scared of change. 

Whatever it is, at the moment, I am just too happy for AAP's win and this has only made me stronger as a human being, for I now confirm that if there is one thing permanent in the world, it is change. 

Are you happy to see AAP coming up as a viable option for a political party? 

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10 Best Quotes From Nelson Mandela

"I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture, I cannot say. Part of being optimistic is keeping one's head pointed toward the sun, one's feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. That way lays defeat and death.”

― Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom: Autobiography of Nelson Mandela

It was late 1990s and I participated in a quiz competition. I had answered all the questions and then came the final question. 

'Name the island where Nelson Mandela was held as a prisoner.'

I didn't know the answer and thus I lost.

Reached home and read a lot about Nelson Mandela. Also learnt the name of the island. It was Robben Island. 

That one question set the beginning of the impact that the legendary leader had upon me. I was enthralled by his vision, his leadership, his humility and his greatness. 

Today, we lost a leader. The world lost a great soul, a human being who lived his life for others.  A man who fought for everyone. 

Apartheid. 

It is not just another English word for racism. It is a question. It is a practice. It was the very reason Nelson Mandela lived and will continue to live forever. 

The man, in his fight against apartheid gave us many wise lessons. Lessons that are not only utmost needed by today's world but that are pretty much sufficient to run the world peacefully. 

Below are my top 10 quotes from one of the greatest men in the history of the world, Mr. Nelson Mandela. 

1. Nothing is impossible

It always seems impossible unless it is done. 

2.  Racism is not natural

No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.

3. Courage is overcoming fear

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.

4.  Get up every time you fall

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.

5.  Speak in his language

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.

6.  Be honest with yourself

As I have said, the first thing is to be honest with yourself. You can never have an impact on society if you have not changed yourself... Great peacemakers are all people of integrity, of honesty, but humility.

7.  Judge a nation by how it treats its lower nationals

It is said that no one truly knows a nation until one has been inside its jails. A nation should not be judged by how it treats its highest citizens, but its lowest ones.

8. Never give up

A winner is a dreamer who never gives up

9. Aim high, aim far

It is not where you start but how high you aim that matters for success.

10.  I am THE DESTINY

I AM THE MASTER OF MY FATE AND THE CAPTAIN OF MY DESTINY

Great people never die. They live on. Forever. 

Most of the quotes have been quoted from his autobiography 'Long Walk To Freedom'. If you wish to read the book, please buy it from the link below. 

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The Bluest Eye: A Book Review and A Tale Of Colorism

I recently finished reading Toni Morrison's The Bluest Eye. 

Toni is an acclaimed author who has won several awards for her writing including The Noble Prize in 1993. The Bluest Eye is Morrison's first novel written in 1970.

Having heard and read a lot about Toni Morrison in various online and offline magazines and having read her few columns in NYT, I was tempted to read one of her works. I picked up The Bluest Eye because it spoke about a cause that I deeply feel about and the cause is colorism. 

Few weeks back, Oprah asked on her FB page about stories on colorism. She asked the readers to send in our stories of color discrimination to her, if we felt discriminated against because of our color. I sent in my story - a story of feeling inferior because of my dark color. 

Two days later, I heard from the Harpo Media Studios. Yes! You read that right. One of the producers of Oprah's Life Class contacted me to ask if I would be willing to appear on the show to speak about discrimination against dark color. Things proceeded well but I could not get onto the show because we had very limited internet capacity here and they wanted super high internet speed. :( 

I am dark and I have no qualms about it whatsoever. It won't be true if I say I never had any grudges against my complexion. I did. When I was young, I used to talk to God and ask him why I was dark. I would look at almost all the girls of my class, who were mostly fair, and wonder why I couldn't be as fair as them. 

With time, I learnt a lot. About colorism. I learnt that color is just a shade. A mere shade of skin. 

While there were people who made me inferior for my dark skin color, there were men who made me feel beautiful. Truly beautiful. My dad was the first man who made me feel so comfortable in my skin. And now its Sanjay who feels I made dark skin look sexy and beautiful. *blush*

But despite these, there were times when I wish I was fair. The fairest of all. And this is where I resonate with this book - The Bluest Eye. 

The book is about a young black girl named Pecola who is so black that she is made to believe she is not just ugly but the ugliest. She then wishes to have The Bluest Eyes so that she could become beautiful. 

The book is the story of Pecola, a poor, young black girl who suffers a lot in life apart from her deep rooted inferiority complex. 

Pecola fervently wishes to have deep blues eyes so that she becomes beautiful. But why only blue eyes? Because white people mostly have blue eyes and white is considered beautiful.

The story revolves around Pecola and her life that has many other characters including Claudia and Freida, two sisters who are also Pecola's neighbours. Pecola's family in which his mom and dad keep fighting always, verbally and physically. 

The book deals with many sensitive issues other than just colorism. Incest is another main plot of the story. One day Pecola is doing the dishes in the afternoon and her intoxicated father rapes her. He does not rape her because he wants to be wild with her but because he loves her and he imagines 'having sex with her' is a way of expressing that love. 

Pecola becomes pregnant at a young age and now the whole neighbourhood pray for the life of the baby. They plant marigolds in the hope that the baby would live but this year, nor the marigolds bloom and Pecola gives birth to a premature baby who dies soon. 

In end of the novel, Pecola contacts a pastor and requests him to grant her wish - blue eyes. He manipulates her to make her believe that she has got blue eyes. In the end, Pecola begins to believe that she was granted her wish and that she indeed got blue eyes. 

The novel ends on a very poignant note when Claudia narrates that she feels, everyone, including them used Pecola as a scape goat to feel beautiful. In order to feel prettier, they all made Pecola feel uglier.

This is a marvellous book by Toni Morrison and I don't feel the need to say that this is a must read book. It is evident that you must read the book to feel the anguish and the laments of a woman who feels she is not pretty enough. 

The language is simply yet pathos laden. Morrison uses multiple narrations through out the book which sometimes confuses for a while but it helps in conveying the message clearly. There are numerous incidents in the book that jolt you as you read. Like how the fair new girl in the school calls these black women 'ugly'. She shouts 'you are ugly, I am pretty'. 

Before adding more and ruining the thrill, I would suggest, you go and pick up a copy of the book right away. Here is the link you can buy it from.
  

If you buy the book from the above link, I would receive a very small but crucial contribution from you which would be of immense help to me to keep the blog running. Thank you so much for your support!

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