I have got four emails on the same subject in the last couple of weeks. All four of them have one underlying problem - how to accept oneself as an introvert? How to come to terms with one's introversion? How does one fall in love with one's personality of being shy, silent and simple?
Learning to accept your introvert self.
'When you know yourself, you are empowered. When you accept yourself, you are invincible' ~ Tina Lifford.
The biggest gift that we can give to ourselves is total acceptance. Sadly, this doesn't come easy and we all deal with our own issues related to body image, personality, capabilities and mindset. We create self doubts and hold grudges against our own selves.
Though the problem of self doubts and self pity are a cause of trouble to everyone, introverts and extroverts alike, introverts deal with it in a larger degree. Extroverts are more outgoing and hence seem to be more confident and friendly so they do not have problems in making friends and in socializing. The biggest challenge for introverts lie in accepting others as their friends and in bringing themselves to being friends with others.
In my opinion, and I am an extrovert slowly becoming an introvert, introversion is a strength.
Being introvert is a capability that not everyone is blessed with.
Not everyone looks within for source of strength and resilience. Only introverts can get hurt and not hurl reactions immediately. They take their time to respond. They react strongly but timely.
Being introvert comes with so many positives. They are stronger. They are more detail-oriented. They are simpler yet meticulous in their approach. They are more substantial as they speak less and do more. They powerhouses within themselves.
They do not need to be in presence of others all the time.
They do not need others' approval for every small thing they do.
They do not need to share their thoughts with everyone around. They know how to deal with their mental energy.
They speak less because they deliberately choose their battles.
Their energy lies not in socializing and partying but in making plans and in their silent execution.
With so many great qualities at hand, why wouldn't someone love himself?
Make me this strong. Take away my dependence upon others for a bite of laughter or sharing my sorrows and I will be the happiest being.
Focus on your strengths
In order to appreciate ourselves, we need to focus on our strengths. Take your mind away from your weaknesses and shift it towards the advantages you are born with. Your strengths that make you an envy of extroverts.
Your strengths are your prized possessions. Do not overlook them because you can not be like somebody else. Make your strengths your biggest pillars of support.
What a luxury that when you are upset, you do not need anybody else to talk to. You can rely upon yourself. We, the extroverts, are so dependent upon others for our mood-uplifting and a dose of motivation.
Introverts are self-motivators.
Do not compare with others
We often fall in the trap of comparisons and it is the worst thing one can do to oneself.
Do not ever compare yourself with others. So what if they can make friends easily? You can keep friends for longer.
So what if they laugh around and they get more attention? The kind of attention you get is more long lasting.
Do not commit the mistake of being somebody else. You are who you are. They can never be like you. And you can never be like them.
Each one of us is unique and it is best to revel in that uniqueness. When we compare ourselves with others and try to be somebody else, we kill that uniqueness.
Do not rely on others' behaviours
Do not rely too much upon what others say to you or how they behave with you. They behave in a certain manner because they are like that. That is their personality. It has absolutely nothing to do with you.
Things begin to hurt when we attribute others' words and behaviours to ourselves which is totally unnecessary. Just the way we behave in a way because we are wired like that, others do so too.
How to make more friends? OR how to find that someone special?
The main underlying problem with many introvert males is that they find it difficult to approach girls and they feel they are losing out to their extrovert peers and that they would never find their special partner.
Let me tell you this - you do not find a special one by simply approaching them. Approaching girls may give you access to be friends with them and while sometimes this friendship leads to a more concrete relationship, many a times it does not.
To find your special one, simply open your heart to love. Let the girl recognize your solid personality from a distance and let her approach you. That way, if she comes to you on her own, she will be there to stay with you.
I will do a more detailed post on this one later but for now, take pride in yourself. Give yourself a hug.
Unless you love yourself, someone else might find it difficult to love you too!
Accept yourself the way you are. Be kind to your introvert self. Shower it with gentleness and love.
Love and kindness from others will slowly follow.
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