Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Beat Loneliness, Beat Depression


Aloneness is often considered a part of loneliness, even though it is not true. One may be alone but not lonely while one may feel lonely amidst crowd or even among family and friends. Like a disease, loneliness creeps in across class, gender, age, location and religion and its cause may be anything from a heart break, accident, illness to mere shyness and busy lives. It is something only the person feeling it can express. Many a times, despite a rich lifestyle, proximity of near and dear ones, a huge social circle or even a festive season cant save someone from feeling lonely.

How a person feels lonely is only at their personal discretion. But loneliness is a condition that can be easily dealt with and if it is not properly dealt with, it can lead to serious repercussions. I remember my little, smart nephew who wouldn’t leave you without showing off his drawing skills or listening to his school tales, suddenly became gullible and silent. He wouldn’t talk anymore and wouldn’t even express his feelings. All this happened in a short time of 8 months. Everyone including his teachers was clueless. Finally we realized that this change occurred only after his mom started working full time! This is an example of how not only the adults but even the youngsters can feel lonely.

A person has to feel wanted and loved in order to be truly engaged with people. You may have millions of friends but if you can’t talk intimately with even few of them, this number of friends actually does not matter. Loneliness arises when you have no one to share your thoughts with, no one to be with the way you really are. The feelings of unworthiness and not being loved feed loneliness. Thus to combat it, one must raise their self-esteem. Indulging in activities that satiate your creativity and give you a sense of achievement also help a lot.

Following few ways are of good help in overcoming the feeling of loneliness:

Feel good about yourself – the most important thing is to feel good about yourself. Talk to people who like you the way you are. Family members often become sources of strength in such times. Spend time with loved ones and regain your confidence.

Help Others – if you are good at something, start giving voluntary classes online or in person. Visiting a home for senior citizens or orphans and lending a helping hand there will definitely make you feel better. When you see people less privileged than you, you start appreciating your life.

Teach the less privileged – if you are an expert in some field, go to a special school or any school in rural area and give few lessons. Most likely they would need you and would also acknowledge your efforts.

Develop creative resources – take up a hobby or work on your interests. Join a class, start writing or playing. Do whatever pleases your creative senses. It would give you a sense of accomplishment and joy.

Go through past memories – glance through photos of a vacation you had or look at all the nice things you possessed. If you had a memorable, happy past chances are you would feel better if you walk through it. And probably this is the reason, people tend to keep memories and never let few things go away.

Stop escaping – completely avoid excessive sleeping, watching movies or tv endlessly or day dreaming. It is only going to aggravate the condition. Instead take upon new responsibilities and assignments to keep yourself busy.

The real solution lies within. Feel happy. Be happy. Have friends but more than that try to become a good friend to gain better friends. Your self confidence is the key in making you feel whichever you wish to. And apart from your inner strength, it’s the support of family and friends that plays a crucial role in making someone feel loved, wanted and engaged.

Many people take relationships and friends for granted and don’t value them. They are selfish people who interact with others only when its convenient to them. Such people miss out on having solid friendships and good relations. They forget that these close people are often the most important pillars of our support system. And such people are at a higher risk of feeling left out.

Start valuing all the important people you have in life. Be there for them when they need you and they will also be there for you in times of darkness.

17 comments:

  1. Thats a very nice post....liked the way it is framed with examples.keep it up writer you are n a roll.

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  2. Thank you Kapil. Thanks a lot. Aur aap comments karte raha karo. Kind words from friends always motivate me!

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  3. I just wrote what the post and the author deserved. I am a regular reader now :)

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  4. Thank you thank you. :) esi baat par ek treat pakki. Jab bhi mileinge tab! :)

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  5. Physical activity and exposure to daylight are two more very useful ways to beat the loneliness blues. Many of the tips you have given include some form of physical activity. A good way to get active and feel good at the end of it is to clean up or declutter around the house. Getting out and going for a walk in the daytime when the sun is not too strong also helps perk the mood up. These two suggestions are scientific, but shared from experience. Very nice and useful post.

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  6. Rightly marked Subhorup. And yeah! sunlight is essential. I start feeling a bit dreary when I dont see the Sun for days together and in that case I use artificial lights :D

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  7. I dont comment for treats :)
    I will comment on all posts which I like...though I don't get much time to read all of it.but I would be regular reader here :)

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  8. Thats like a true reader. I am very glad to have you here. I have somebody who can give me honest feedback.

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  9. This is such an important topic! My mom suffered from depression for a long time, so I am aware of the possible tendency towards that in my own life. Thankfully, it hasn't been a problem at all so far. I think a lot of that has to do with my lifestyle. I exercise, eat well, have hobbies, and people in my life to connect with.

    We really have the dominant role in how we feel!

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  10. Stephanie..

    Yeah! Lifestyle has a big role to play in our lives. And I also agree that making just slight changes in the way we live and eat has long term effects on our mindset and the way we perceive things.

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  11. Wonderful article. I'm reading it for the second time. I went through the points and will try those I haven't. Helping others is a big factor for me when I feel down. Helps me to remember that sometimes others are going though real difficulties. Mine seem to evaporate. It's so effective. Thank you!

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  12. Erna,

    Thanks a lot for the lovely comment. And yeah, helping others is a very effective way for me too. It generally keeps in high spirits..

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  13. I becum a regular reader now :) Nice to know that u get such a free time to think and write all these ..Keep going!

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  14. Physical and social activity helps to cope with depression mechanically, pain is crowd out by new impressions, but if you don't let all your past problems go, you will return to this depressive state of mind.

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  15. Agreed.. one has to forget and forgive the past in order to be totally free.

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  16. Thanks for this post..i really need this... i really like your point "Develop creative resources"..I am fond of writing short poems..bt i'm not perfect but i will try to improve...thanks

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    1. Ohh wow.. get on to writing Varsha.. and send me your poems. Would love to read. :)

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