It Was My First Love After All..

I read your article 'The First Basic Step To Find Love' and I could instantly relate to it. I was a bubbly girl myself who sat for hours together watching DDLJ and RHTDM endless number of times. I loved soaking myself in the rains and always dreamed of my prince on a white horse who would come and take me off my feet to a wonderland.

I was lucky that this moment actually came in my life. I went to attend a cousin's wedding and he was there from the groom's side. We exchanged few glances and next moment I knew I was in love. At a time when all the Baraatis were busy in drinking and dancing, I noticed him sitting quietly at one corner and enjoying the scene. He seemed to enjoy all the noise around him but deep inside he was calm and silent. My brother-in-law introduced us and told me to take his advice on the upcoming CAT examination as he was a student of IIM Bangalore. I heard IIMB and I was in complete awe of him. We spoke for sometime. He actually gave me some good tips to do well in entrance test and I took a note of his contact details.

Post wedding, we kept in touch. His short and sweet emails complimented my long, light emails well. Then after 3 months, he told me he was coming to Delhi and would like to meet me. I couldnt be more rejoiced. We met. He took a day off from work and I bunked college and we had a great time together. Jan 01, 2008 was the bestest start of any year I had seen so far. I opened my eyes at 7 am when my phone beeped and I read his sms 'Jas, I cant possibly tell you how happy I am to have met you. You have become the sunshine of my life'. I read the sms atleast 10 times before I got dressed up and stepped out to meet him. He was leaving the next day. I met him at a book shop in CP and in one corner of the shop, surrounded by the love tales of the legendary, we marked the beginning of our eternal love. He gently kissed me and I hugged him tight. He asked me, 'btw why did your parents name you Jasmine? I mean why not rose if they had to pick a flower's name for their eklauti daughter?'. I almost punched him for his sad humor on my name and then replied, 'because Jasmine smells sweet and unlike rose, it doesn't have thorns. So, you see, no matter how close you come to me, you wont be hurt'.

When he dropped me at my home in the evening, he said he would talk to his parents about our marriage but he still wanted me to study well for my career. Within few days, I got my CAT results and it was a meager 75. But I was still happy. He was the reason of my joys.

Next month I called my cousin and wanted to tell her about my sweet, new love story but before I could let her know she casually mentioned 'Amit is going out of station. His friend ABC's dad got a paralysis attack'. My heart sank. He didnt tell me about this. I at once called him and heard him sobbing. He was also worried about continuing his education as he belonged to a simple, single earning member family. I offered him a bit of financial help but he declined.

I couldnt talk to him often following next few days. He called me one day announcing his placement in a reputed Asian firm. I was deliriously happy for him. But this happiness could not last longer. Few days later, he called up and asked me to talk to my parents about my feelings for him. All excited I started the conversation at the dining table before we could finish our meals. And to my stupefaction, my dad threw away his thali. 'What? Have you gone crazy? Do you even know his caste? He belongs to a lower caste. Not possible at all'. I was aghast. My dad who was always the most pampering man to me could even look at me in anger, I couldnt believe. Sobbing, I called him. As expected and as usual, he was calm and composed on the phone. We didnt speak much. He just said 'it wont be possible Jas. You focus on your career and I need to focus on my family'.

Our telephonic conversations reduced. Emails shortened and even the intensity of voice on phone jaded. I felt like a complete loser. He asked me to move on. I couldnt feel proud of my dad any more. But one thing gave me strength. I decided to pursue CAT. I did and scored more than 98 percentile. I had options to choose from IIM A and IIM B. Ofcourse I opted for the latter.

My cousin told me about his wedding. I had got the invite too but decided to skip it. I focused on my career. Now I am in US, working for a reputed bank. He is married and is in China right now. How do I know? Because I got an email from him last month. A short, sweet email in last two years. I am attaching the email here.

Hi Jas,

Hope alls fine with you. Moved to SF? Its a great place. I was there last year for 5 months. I am in China right now for a long term assignment. Came here last week. Gitanjali (my wife) would come here soon, maybe in two months. She still feels a little weak. Oh yeah! she has just become a mother.

I decided not to read his email further and closed the browser. How could he move on so easily while I was still escaping the truth that we wont be together. Trust me I didnt not open up my laptop for more than 36 hours and that was really a big deal for me then.

Few days later, I was fine and archiving my inbox. Thats when I thought to read the email completely. This is what he had written.

"...I am a proud and happy father of a beautiful baby. She is very playful. Almost like a sunshine. And yes, we call her Jasmine. Because she smells so sweet and I dont want her to hurt people if they come close to her. Have a nice stay in SF.

Ciao, ABC."

I forgot to archive my inbox and instead went to the garden downstairs. I cried. I still dont know the reason for crying, but I remember I cried hard for about 20 mins. And did not reply to his email. Since that day, I feel lighter.

Love is not about getting married. It is about feeling loved.

This is my story. This was a real long email. But I must tell you I love Womanatics. And thanks for hearing me out.

Note: My reader Jasmine sent this story to me. You can send Your Story too. Let me and Jas know if it sparked some lost memories in your heart. Shoot in the comments.

Tweet