'Forgive all what is dark and let there be light all around' - Womanatics
Being an Aries, forgiveness comes naturally to me. I wont say I easily forgive but yes, I hardly keep grudges. I am more a moment-to-moment person. Though since my marriage, I have changed a lot as a person and now I am in a process to re-discover myself.
That happens with everyone. We all change and evolve over a period of time. Sometimes we store feelings for long and sometimes we simply forget. It also depends on the person in the context. We find it difficult to be harsh to some people while with some we have to make double efforts to maintain the basic level of etiquette. But whatever and however it is, forgiveness is a kind act, we all must practice, not just for ourselves but also for others.
In a marriage, forgiveness plays a very important role, infact the most important role. Staying with the same person under one roof makes it almost impossible to live happily without forgiving.
In the initial months of my marriage, I had a tough time. We both had a 'imagined' picture of the other in our head and any moment, the other person deviated, even a little bit, from that picture we took it as a crime. What followed next was hurt and grief. We both hurt each other a lot with our remarks. We had a very different upbringing. He thought I was too liberal in my thoughts and I found him quite conservative. Thus, our thoughts and opinions often clashed and this is not unique to us. It happens in every conversation with everybody.
With time, we learnt a lot about each other and developed mutual trust. But more importantly, we learnt to forgive with time. Till the time, we did not let our past ugly memories fade away, we were not comfortable. But once we learnt to do it, we both achieved balance and peace in life.
Now, I dont even remember when was the last time we fought or why did we fight so much in the beginning. We have decided to completely erase the bad memories and cherish the good ones.
From my own experience, I would say that we need to get rid of that grudge and forget and forgive!