Past is a nice place to visit but not a place at all to dwell in.
Do you find it difficult to erase few incidents from your past life? I seriously do - from my life and some of my loved one's lives too.
Past is a powerful thing. Since it has already taken place in your life, it has also been etched in your memory and now it is difficult to totally erase it. Though, time and change are natural cleansing agents of past, but a person's sincere efforts also help a diluting some ugly memories from past life.
I recently read an article that said that many of our present day habits or behavior are because of our past life experiences. For example, if one of your parents had an extra marital relationship, you may grow up to be possessive partner. Similarly, if your partner was sexually abused, he/she may not easily confide in you and may not be active in their current sexual life. A child who was mostly ignored by his parents in his childhood grows up to be a person of low self confidence and an attention seeker in adult life.
We, in the present, mainly center our focus on our partner's present behavior and do not try to delve into their childhood and understand what actually went wrong.
Our childhood is our foundation. It shapes us as a person. What we are today in unarguably because of what we learnt in our childhood.
So, there is a huge probability that if your partner behaves a little more possessive, or is a compulsive attention seeker or has low confidence or any behavior that bothers you, then most likely his that particular behavior has its roots in his childhood.
As his better half, you should try to look into him deeper and understand the causes of his such behavior. There are great chances that once you understand the reasons of his present day behavior, you would be able to work upon them and have a better life.
For example, my hubby lost both of his parents at a very young age and I could feel his pain. He always seeks my physical presence and I can where that comes from. He wants me to be around, in front of him. Initially it bothered me a lot but when I understood it, I knew what to do. I always made sure I was with him most of the time. I made sincere efforts to spend as much time with as I could. Result - he now lets me be on my own! :D
I, on the other hand, was restricted a lot in doing things of my choice during my childhood. Like, I was not allowed to read novels, study art and literature, follow a hobby etc. So, I demanded extra freedom in my marriage and given the super understanding my husband is, he liberated me!
In my opinion, key is to talk to your partner and learn about his past. Help him deal with it. Give him the love, care and attention that he missed in his childhood.
This has two folds benefits. One - you would be able to help your partner to deal with his childhood and will also learn to give a better childhood to your children.