A reader asks
Hi Surabhi, I follow your blog with keen interest and my favorite is the part where you answer our problems and here's mine.
I am a 22 year old woman and I've been having a very hard time trying to get myself out of depression since the last two years.I was a happy-go-lucky girl whole of my life and to be honest I've not been able to assess when and how I've slipped into depression.From the last two years no matter whatever I do I fail at that. But its only after I slipped into depression I've started failing at things.Now I am going through a tough phase trying to come out of depression and what bothers me the most is the fact that I myself don't know the reason for what has caused this.And after failing at almost everything that I've done in the last two years this pain has added to the depression and nothing is helping me or motivating me to get out of the depression. To see all my friends moving on with life and being struck at the same place and having no solution in hand is even more irritating.
I don't have any distractions in life and I have a wonderful family and nothing much that I have to worry about.This phase is killing me.I've not taken this depression seriously until I started feeling suicidal some months back.I'd be grateful if you answer my query as soon as possible.Should I discuss with my family or friends? Is it something that I can come out of without anyone's help?
Thanks for writing to me and I am so glad you read my blog with interest.
I can relate to what you are going through. It happens to everyone. Each one of us goes through this phase. Just that for some it takes a little longer but the real strength lies in overcoming this traumatic time and emerging out as a winner.
On Womanatics, I have written several articles on beating the depression and coming out as a winner. Please read these. They may help you in dealing with such times.
First, let me tell you that you have amazing English writing skills. I get queries from lot of people. I answer many of them here but some are not answered. And I must say that you have one of the best writing skills I can see in people who reach out to me. So, first and foremost I would suggest you to feel proud of your skills and be ready to make the best out of these.
I am not going to tell you the ways to come out of it, as I have already written several articles on those here and also everyone is going to tell you that.
I would ask you to do just one thing - forget about your depression.
Simply forget that there is anything wrong with you because honestly, I read your question and I couldn't find anything wrong with you, nothing at all.
Just forget it and move with your everyday life. You are just 22. You are too young to take life so seriously that it pushes you into depression. You can talk about it to your family and friends but don't use the term depression. Just forget it.
Trust me it will help. Promise to me that you will not use this term for yourself ever again. If you feel lonely and you wish to discuss it with someone, tell them you dont like anything these days or that you are losing interest in things around you.
And what is it that you have failed in? College exams, job etc are such small things in life. You admit that you have a the most precious gift of a wonderful family and that is more than sufficient. What else does one need in life? Look at me. I had an envious job and I left it without even worrying about my relieving letter. Yeah! I didnt even care to collect my relieving letter when I quit. I just stopped going to office one day.
Don't worry about job etc. Pick up the pieces of your life and make a shape! Only you can do it and you have to do it. If you think you are failing in things you are trying, change the things!
God has sent you to this world and when he did that, he attached a purpose with you. Find that purpose and fulfill that. Go on!