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| (With Sunita Kejriwal (centre) and Seema Sisodia (right)) |
My first question to her was – ‘do you ever get upset by the fact that he is insanely busy with his work?’
To this she politely replied, ‘no. I do not get upset. Instead I feel proud of him because he works for his country which is my country as well.’
She also added, ‘I am his wife, his companion. I need to and should support him in his noble cause. After all, he is busy with good work and not other social evils.’
I asked her another question, ‘how do you deal with his busy schedule? Now that you have grown up kids, you would want him to spend more time with his family but he keeps getting busier by the day. Does this bother you?’ and by saying this I mentioned to her how I get baffled and bewildered when my husband comes home late for consecutive days.
To which she said something that is like a pearl of wisdom.
She asked me, ‘were you happy when you were single?’
I said,’yes, I would like to think that I was happy.’
‘Then why can’t you be like that now?’
I was quiet.
She added, ‘women often make the mistake of making their husbands the centre of their lives.
There is nothing wrong with it but it becomes a problem when you become over dependent upon him. When you want him around you all the time and when you can’t move on as an individual.
‘Keep doing the activities that you used to do when you were single. Spend time with friends.
Read books. Go out. Once you have an individual life apart from the marriage, things will automatically fall in place.’
She further added that we all must find out what makes up happy. ‘Let every woman be free and independent to find out what makes her happy.’
Her words resonated with me in more ways than one.
Do not just be a wife. Be an individual too.
I introspected and realized that I also lost temper many a times when my husband worked for long hours and when I felt that he neglected his family due to his work. Now when I look back, I feel that I was being rude and not understanding.
We can’t progress as a nation, unless some of us take that extra leap. Unless some of us work extra hours and unless some of us support our spouses in performing their duties exceedingly well.
My conversation with Sunita Kejriwal also taught me the important role a spouse has to play when one partner embarks on a difficult yet noble path. We may not always hear her name in the newspapers but we know that unless she lets him work in peace, he won’t be able to focus.
Watching Sunita Kejriwal, who looked graceful in a silk suit and a woolen shawl, attending the guests in the official Diwali party, I noticed her confidence that was coupled with simplicity, grace and dignity.
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Very well said akka…I depend so much on my husband that I really can't do small things also independently. After reading the post, I felt so happy..inspiring post for me. Where there is a will there is a way. We always have a choice to do what we want to do…We just need to follow it…to grow as a individual.
Hi Sameera, women often make the mistake of centering their lives around their husbands. And we do need to stop doing that. Like you said, growing as an individual is very important. Along side family, we must also focus on our personal growth.
Hi Surabhi,
This was an interesting read. I have an individual life apart from being a wife and i really treasure that. My hubby too works for late hours but I try wholeheartedly not to be the nagging partner. In fact, I have even been asked by my frns how do u manage to do so many things tht u love, Y do u give him so much of space n I think this post is a really good answer for that 🙂
By the way, this reminds me..When are we meeting up 😉
Love,
Anitha
Anitha, Lets meet up anytime. You in Delhi? Send mean email – womanatics@gmail.com and will plan. Plus, I'd like to know too – how do you manage that?
Im in Bangalore Surabhi 🙁
But I have decided. Whenever I plan to Come to Delhi, U are the first person Im gonna contact 🙂
Pakka!!!!
Awesome.. Delighted to read.. I Learnt a lot.. 🙂
Awesome.. Delighted to read.. I Learnt a lot.. 🙂
Sumi.. you can learn from me.. 😀 😀 😀