An Important Lesson That I Learnt About Marriage

Gul is a flamboyant, bubbly woman who is an extrovert and to a large extent I saw a bit of myself in her. And her husband was more like Sanjay – a good listener, an introvert and a great analytic mind.

It was so amazing to see both of them in love with each other. Their chemistry clearly shows from the first moment when you see them together. There was something special about them as a couple that made me write this post. I will now try to summarize the lessons I learnt in two points below.

1. Let the differences be complimenting – When it comes to basic personality types, both of them are different individuals. One is introvert and the other is extrovert. This usually becomes a concern for rift between the couple if we just focus on the ‘difference’ of the personality.

What I learnt from them is that instead of continuously thinking about how different our partner is from us, we should let the difference compliment us as a couple. For example, when Gul talked, her husband quietly and patiently listened to her. And when he talked about some serious stuff, Gul heard him and later expressed that she ‘learnt’ this from her.

I try to do the same in my life. I talk or rather blabber a lot when it comes to socializing because Sanjay is not a social person. But whenever it comes to giving out genuine advice to someone or expressing opinions over current affairs or discussing finance, I let Sanjay take the lead.

This helps us in bringing out the best in each other. Now we have come to a stage where I don’t even wish Sanjay to socialize with people. I am happy and content with how he is.

2. Give personal space to each other – Though I sincerely believe in the power of ‘space’ I learnt it hard way. Initially, I didnt let him have his space. He was also very possessive in the early months but though he improved soon I took a long time. It was only after Pahal was born that I realized I needed time for myself and he would need it for himself too.

After meeting this lovely couple, I earned a firm belief in how important it is for a couple to give space to each other. Gul is a media person and she has to socialize with people in parties, chat shows etc but her husband is a shy person and wants to maintain his distance from the media.

This is the reason, I can’t put his picture on the net as he has asked me not to. Gul understands this perfectly and does not force him to attend the functions with her while he does not stop her.

Both of them know where to draw the line.

Many a times we meet people, who leave a positive impact on us. This couple just did the same!