|Wife cheating on husband|
A Reader Asks,
I am in a very upset situation. My sister is having an extra marital affair with a relative in her in-laws side. Her daughter has told me about her mom’s affair as she read some of the messages on her mother’s phone. My niece is very upset right now and she needs help. My brother in law is a very sensitive person and I don’t want him to know about his wife’s affair as he would be deeply hurt and may even harm himself in the grief.
I do not know what to do. Please help. The other guy is getting married in a month’s time and I pity the girl who is going to get married to him. Should I try to talk to this new girl and try to teach a lesson to this boy? How can I save my sister’s relationship?
I read your problem and I agree it is indeed complicated. If you are the real sister, you should take your parents into confidence.
Such matters are very sensitive and can be sorted out only with elder’s intevention. SO, you should tell your parents about it and they should talk to her. Only your parents can convince her to stop all this. At the same time, if you can, you should counsel the daughter so that she can understand. I know the mother is at fault and there is no way to defend her but it is better if the daughter does not nurture any negative feelings for her mother. So you should try to talk to the daughter and explain that since her mom has gotten into this kind of relationship so there would be some reason. You should try to keep her young mind into control and also explain that what her mom is doing is wrong but she would soon realize her mistake.
In such cases with children especially, there is a danger that what they see in their families they tend to follow it. So, the first thing should be to tell the young daughter that even though her mom has crossed the lines, it is not right and her mom is guilty. But at the same time, since she is her mother, she should try to think from her point of view as well. You have to maintain this thin line of balance where you tell her that cheating on one’s spouse is indeed bad but at the same time, her mom may have her own reasons to do so.
If you think your sister would listen to you, maybe you can try to talk to her directly about it and warn her about the damage she has done to her own family.
I don’t think there is any use of trying to reach out to this new girl. Why would she believe you and even if she does, it would break her heart. The guy would get married eventually, either to her or someone else. You have only a bit of moral responsibility of your sister and you should first try to fulfill that. Move on to others later.
I hope this gets sorted out soon and your sister gets on to the right path soon. I also feel the guy, whoever he gets married to, stays committed to her!