Question from a reader: I’m in a relationship with a guy for the last 2 years. We fight a lot but love each other like crazy. Problem is that my father has issues with our marriage because our Birth Charts (Kundli) don’t match as per our Astrologer. I don’t care about kundlis but my father believes in kundlis and doesn’t agree for our marriage.
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Kundli or horoscope matching is an Indian tradition that is followed only in Indian sub continent and not anywhere else though astrology is studied all over the world. In some families horoscope matching is a must while in some it is just a formality. I belong to the latter so I am not a firm believer in kundli matching.
Astrology is a science based on probability. It does not guarantee anything and nor does it predict future for sure. However, some learned astrologers can tell you the probability of the occurrence of a particular event. That is all.
Coming to your question – what to do if kundlis don’t match?
- Find out if mismatch of kundli is the only reason for not agreeing for this alliance.
- Check if the priest hasn’t manipulated the kundli as sometimes priests or family members use this manipulation to create a problems.
Believe in the power of love. Have faith in the goodness of life. Commit yourself to making it work. If you are sure about this person, go ahead and take the decision. Kundli isn’t the essential factor to get two people married. Your commitment to make a marriage work is the only thing that decides the fate of a marriage, not kundlis. No horoscopes. No matching – only the willingness to devote your lives to the growth of your marriage decides how happy or blessed the marriage would be.
Also, are you sure your dad doesn’t agree to the marriage only because of kundli? Or is there any other reason and your dad is using the cover of incompatible kundlis? Find that out. If there is something else other than kundli then you may want to talk to him and understand his point of view.
If the problem is only the kundlis and that the kundlis don’t match then you have to trust your gut and instinct.
Another point to consider here is – what do you think about kundli matching? Is it important to you too? Do you also believe in it?
If the answer to the above is yes then you should get the kundlis matched so that you do not have any doubt in mind later on. Because in that case, if anything goes wrong you will attribute it to the mismatch of kundlis and will not try to work on resolving it.
But if kundli matching holds no importance to you then forget about it. Have faith in your decision and take the leap.
At the same time, you should also do a self introspection and ask yourself if you are fully convinced that he is the one. If you are absolutely sure of your feelings for him and his feelings for you, then that is all should matter and nothing else.
I am a manglik (a special kundli condition) and since childhood I have been hearing that I should get married only to another manglik. While I used it against many proposals whom I didn’t like. For ex. if a proposal came my way and I was not convinced about marrying him, I made the excuse of kundli. But when Sanjay came along, kundli was the last thing on my mind. I knew he was THE ONE.
Such is the certainty and it comes once in a lifetime.
If you feel you have found true love; if you and him believe in the power of your love; if the only reason your dad doesn’t agree for the alliance is kundli, then dump the kundlis aside and get married. After all, there is no power greater than love.
Do not let some pandit or a booklet decide your fate in one of the most important matters of life i.e. marriage.
Even if the kundlis match it is not a guarantee that the marriage will not fail. Success of a marriage does not depend on matching of kundlis. It depends on your level of commitment of marriage.
What about the marriages in other cultures where there is no concept of kundlis and no kundli matching is done? If we take our own parents or relatives, how do we know if their kundlis matched or not? For eg. my parents don’t remember their time of birth and hence they can’t have their accurate kundlis which is why I have no way of knowing if their kundlis matched or not.
More than the kundli, rely on your instinct and your love. Discuss with your daddy and ask him about his apprehensions.
Kundli, in my opinion, is just an excuse to reject a proposal.