I have a sweet revelation to make: I am expecting my second baby!
Many of you already know about it. Especially who have been in touch with me through emails and FB messages. But otherwise, this is the first time I am announcing it on the blog here. So, yeah, this explains my laziness in keeping the blog updated. I am currently running in my 8th month and the baby is expected sometime around January end/February beginning.
I had a traumatic time through the first six months of pregnancy with heavy nausea, vomiting, restlessness, irritability and terrible mood swings. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, puked almost anything that I ate, couldn’t eat most of the things including milk, curd, tea, coffee, paranthas, ghee, lemon, idli-dosa, anything fried, well practically everything. On top of that, usual irritability, tiredness and not-wanting-to-do-anything-at-all added to my pregnancy woes.
But this post isn’t about the pregnancy nausea. It is about the ‘beta-de-bhagwaan’ nausea.
In the last few months, the most common phrase that I have heard for myself in the form of blessings, best wishes and general remarks is – “Beta De Bhagwaan..” and I wonder why everyone wishes for a son for me.
Some cover it up by saying “you already have a daughter so you should have a son too!” while others say “at least one son is needed.”
Really? Is at least one daughter needed too?
Our society has come a long way but we still have a much longer way to go, particularly when sex discrimination is considered. Lets be honest and admit ‘Indians still prefer sons over daughters.’ The current, young generation may rejoice over the birth of daughter but everyone still wishes for a son.
The pressure that the society puts on the expecting mother mounts to an extent that even she begins to wonder “will anyone feel joyous if I bring a daughter?” and this gets worse in the case of second baby.
When my elder daughter was born, I was elated to have a baby girl. More so because my husband always said he wanted a daughter. My relatives were happy too because “it is the first baby. Daughter means goddess Lakshmi.”
But now that I already have a daughter, no one seems to wish for another girl for me, except my daughter herself who wants a younger sister. Sanjay still wants a girl though. And what about me? I am so in love with Pahal that I want a clone of hers. Boy or girl – I don’t care but it should be like Pahal.
Yeah, honestly enough, I secretly know that if I give birth to another girl, then people around me may not exclaim with the same happiness as they would if I bring a boy to the world. This gets me in pressure and I too wish for a boy sometimes. As an expecting mom, the first thing I want is to see happy faces around me when I come out of the labour room. I only want best wishes, joyous messages and happy hugs on the birth of my baby and not sympathetic statements that sound like “better luck next time.”
Problem with this is that now a days it happens in such a silent and subtle manner that while I know this discrimination exists, I still can’t raise my voice against it because whenever I try to do it, it immediately slips under the cover of “boys and girls are equal, which is why since you have a girl, you should have a boy too!”
I wish I could change things in some way. I wish I could be immune to ‘Beta De Bhagwaan..’ statements but that is not possible. I hear them on a regular basis and yes, they do permeate my brains to affect it.
I wish people could keep their wishes to themselves and their blessings too, in case their blessings are skewed. But world never operates on our wishes!
I can go on and on about ranting on this one but during this period of pregnancy, let me stay positive.
I have almost another month to go. Lets see what I am going to have – a boy or a girl. I don’t care personally but I simply want another Pahal in my life.
So you guys wish me good luck! Be with me on this journey of second time motherhood. Stay on here with me.
I will certainly share the news with you all, as and when it comes.
Till then, lets wish together ‘Beti De Bhagwaan..’