1. Do not insult or mock your daughter-in-law in public
She can’t cook? She broke the newly bought set of glasses? Or she doesn’t getup on time?
Whatever it is, do not ever make fun of, insult or mock her in front of others. Not even in front of your relatives that you believe are understanding enough.
Getting insulted in public hurts like hell.
2. Do not complain about your daughter-in-law to your son in her absence
She is his wife and she is going to be his children’s mother. Understand it very well that if you back bite about her to your son, you are being responsible for their unhappy marriage.
If at all you have to bring something to your son’s knowledge, discuss it openly when your daughter-in-law is also present so that she can express her side of the story too!
3. Do not become ‘the other woman’ in your daughter-in-law’s life
I feel sorry for writing this but I have seen many mother-in-laws acting like an other woman in their daughter-in-law’s life. They become over interfering and always try to push their daughter-in-law behind and try to become the first woman in their son’s life.
Mother-in-law, you need to understand that your son has his own life with his wife. Let them lead it the way they want to.
4. Do not try to parent your grand children
It is okay that you love them. You should. It is also okay that you try to teach them a good thing or two. You should.
But do not become their parent even if you baby sit them for the whole day. If your daughter-in-law doesn’t approve of any of your habits or dealings with the baby, give it a break. Do not do it.
Your daughter-in-law is the mother of your grand children. She has every right to decide about them. Do not rob her off this right.
5. Do not EVER bad mouth your daughter-in-law’s parents
I see lot of mother-in-laws bad mouthing and criticizing their daughter-in-law’s parents. This is totally absurd.
Just the way your own daughter will never like you being criticized by someone else, your daughter-in-law also hates it when you badmouth about her parents.
Good or bad, they are her parents and that is all.
6. Do not treat your daughter-in-law like a maid
It is a pity that the Supreme Court of India had to give out with a ruling regarding this. It explains the bad state of affairs in our country.
Many mother-in-laws expect their daughter-in-laws to be perfect bahus and do all household chores on time and without any external help, most of the times, like their own mother-in-laws.
But times have changed and so have the ways in which daughters are being raised. Expecting one woman to finish all household chores all by herself is absolutely ridiculous in today’s times when life has become more stressful and chaotic.
Let her hire a maid. Do not insist that your daughter-in-law only does the household chores. Let her decide what she feels comfortable doing.
7. Do not dictate what your daughter-in-law should wear or eat
Finally, do not expect your daughter-in-law to wear and eat as per your convenience and liking. Just because she is married to your son doesn’t mean that her life will now revolve around your liking and disliking.
You don’t cook non-veg at home? Fine. Let her dine outside and eat what she wants.
You never wore sleeveless or shorts or skirts? Nor did your daughters? Fine. You have lived your life the way you wanted to and your daughters are free to live theirs. Do not dictate your terms upon your daughter-in-law.
Treat your daughter-in-law like a respectable human being and an individual. You can only advise her about few things but you can not expect her to agree to everything that you say.
She has had a different up-bringing and her parents wanted her to be a different person. Let her be.