At the very onset of this post, I would like to mention that this post comes out from the deepest hurt corners of my heart and I may sound very bitter and cruel while you read it and yeah the so-called ‘proud Delhiites’ may find it offensive. But I do not intend to say sorry as I have well researched my facts and today, at the moment I am not ready for any brick bats. So, if you think you cannot hear anyone say a bad-but-true thing about your city, please skip to the next post.
I shouldn’t sound too harsh about Delhi as I belong to Meerut, the alleged crime city of India. During my tender years of growing up, I saw three murders right in front of me. Yes! You read it right. I saw a Muslim being brutally murdered by a gang of Hindu fanatics during Babri Masjid demolition, then I saw the murder of a man in the market in old Meerut city. My dad moved to the suburbs thinking it would be a little safer there. And sometime in 1995, I watched another murder of a man in the suburb who was eating aloo-tikkis as the same deli where I was having it with my siblings and granny! I was 14 yrs old then.
Being a sensitive person since the beginning, such incidents affected me the most. I was found lost in my own world several times whenever I witnessed any act of violence. Though I was a strong person with very strong and firm moral and social values, I was weak inside. I couldn’t see anyone in pain. I remember how I was going for dinner in a famous restaurant in Hyderabad with my friend and on the way I saw two hefty men bashing up a lean boy badly! I couldn’t dare to interfere but it left me so aghast and upset that I gave up my dinner plans and came back home. I slept empty stomach that night.
There have been numerous cases where my country and the men left me shattered to the soul and there have been many numerous cases where I have gone out of my way to help out people, friends and even strangers. For example, once in 2005-06 I entered a STD shop in Hyderabad to make a STD call and I saw a very young school girl all worried and crying. She had lost her purse somewhere and now she did not have money to take the auto to reach home (or something similar). I offered her money but she refused to take. I tried to calm her but she didn’t even come close to me and I could understand her trauma. I knew maybe she was taught to not interact with strangers. I was getting late for my place but I decided to help her out. I asked her to make a call to her parents. I paid for her telephone call (she wasn’t ready to use my mobile phone) and later got her a fruity juice pack. She said her dad was on the way to pick her up and she was fine now but I didn’t want to leave her in the shop with the shop keeper so I stayed there. I left only when her dad came and she was in safe hands.
I am not writing this to blow my own trumpet. Infact I feel so ashamed of myself as I write this because I feel I was a fool to not raise my voice when a man misbehaved with me for the first time. I was also a coward to keep quiet when I couldn’t voice my anger when two men pounced on that one single boy.
Sadly, I never did any of these. Because I was taught at home – ‘kisi se bina baat ke panga nahi lete’.
The gang rape case that took place in a moving school bus at 9 pm in the heart of Delhi shows what happens when people start to believe ki panga nahi lena.
A young girl boards a bus with her male friend feeling assured that she is safe. What probably she didn’t realize is that the word ‘safe’ stops to exist when you enter Delhi and NCR.
She bought the ticket, sat on the seat and soon after she was in the clutches of the 6 vultures who were travelling along in the bus. I cannot stop my tears as I write this thinking about the fight that girl had put up which is why she was beaten with iron rods. She is in a critical situation right now because her intestines are badly damaged. The driver confessed that since she was putting up a hard fight, he got angrier and started hitting her with an iron rod. They then stripped her and threw her on a bridge so that no one could identify her. Not a single car passing by noticed two wounded people on the bridge. It was only 1 hr later that the toll patrol vehicle stopped and took them to hospital.
I am ashamed. Since the time this case has happened, I am almost clinging to my daughter. I wonder if I did it right by bringing a woman in this world, when I would have to spend more than half of my life in the city of rapes!
As a mother of a daughter, I now very well understand why my mum never allowed us to step out after 7 pm. Probably I am going to tell the same to my daughter. But as a woman I also wonder if I am here only to protect my daughter or to protect my own self? No.
I am a mother. I am the giver. I run this world. A devil like Ram Singh, the main accused of this rape case, is born in the womb of a woman like me. When I bring someone into this world, it is my responsibility to teach him how to live.
As a sister, I need to tell my brother to be respectful to other women. As a mother it is my responsibility to teach my children the basic lessons of humanity. When a man steps out to commit a crime, it is a failure of family, a mother’s up-bringing and a father’s values.
The real beauty lies in not attracting the beasty but in driving away the beasts.
Beauty is what makes a beast a human being.
We, the women, are the creators of the society. I am not saying that fathers or men do not have any social responsibility, they do but that is a different chapter for now. As women, we should try our best to make this society a beautiful place to live in and every human being a beautiful person at heart.
That would be our ultimate forever young, wrinkle-free and glowing life!
Also, as I end this post, let’s stay in silence for 5 secs and pray for that brave woman’s well being.
Note: I have a post on my blog ‘9 Critical Safety Rules For Women’ that is written by a cop and that gives some great tips for a woman to stay safe. Please read it and share it with fellow women.