As soon as I read this message, I thought to myself, ‘I have felt this way too!’
It is very common for women to judge themselves and feel inferior. We all do it.
I am not good looking enough.
I am not educated enough.
I am not talented enough.
I am not sexy enough.
I am not this, that, xyz, abc enough.
I do not understand why we do so and why we are so hard on ourselves (and on other women) but I know that we do judge ourselves and other women, way too much! We do it unknowingly.
Unwillingly. Unintentionally. But we do it everyday.
I have done it too.
Sadly, I questioned myself repeatedly when I got engaged to my husband.
‘Why did he choose me?’
‘Why didn’t he pick a fellow IAS woman from his academy?’
‘He could have found a much more beautiful girl.. why me?’
‘I wish he would not regret his decision later’ and so on.
Gladly, I questioned him too. ‘Why me? Why not somebody else?’ and the answer he gave me was enough for me to stop poking further questions.
So, dear Reader,
I understand what you are going through and I think I can help you from what I have experienced.
Let me tell you that men do not always want a pretty, hot, sexy woman. They want a beautiful woman and this kind of beauty is more skin deep than obvious.
They want an attractive wife who can stimulate them intellectually. Someone who can provide them stability and emotional security.
They sure desire a woman with a great body, but more importantly, they are attracted to women who have a mind of their own.
Men can go on their knees before a kind woman.
They go weak in front of women who are strong, who can stand up for themselves and others for their rights.
Men may not chase blue-green eyes but eyes that reflect the soul. They like women who are pure, clear and honest.
And fair? Naah!
They want your fairer sense of judgement to prevail more than your fair complexion.
Having said all of the above, I would also like to add that there are all kinds of men (and women) out there. Some may value soul over body while others may not.
Your man seems to be the one who knows what he wants and who accepts you for what you are.
Do not let your inferiorities ruin a splendid love that can shine for decades.
Do not question yourself because your heart believes you have found the right man.
Do not bombard yourself with doubts about your own efficacies and capabilities.
Instead, open your heart to love.
Let his love touch your soul in a way that you will never raise a question about yourself again.
Let your inner radiance reach his mind and soul and then let it reflect in his eyes. You will then find all your answers right there in his eyes.
Please, be a little kind to yourself too! He is a real man who wants a real woman for himself.
This isn’t an illusion.
Accept his love. Decide to work things out so that you two embark on a beautiful journey full of love, kindness, acceptance and happiness.
Finally, ending with my husband’s words –
‘The way you make me smile and put me at peace is what makes you the most beautiful woman in the world.’
Go ahead. Make him smile.
All the best!
I hope you found this post helpful. Please share it and help other women make the best decision for themselves.