Why is it so difficult to let go of something or more importantly someone?
I think there are multiple reasons for holding on to people who hurt us continuously but we still cling to them.
The biggest reason is that we become too hopeful about these people.
1. We get too hopeful about others. We constantly hope that would change their attitude towards us; they would love us more in future or their behavior in general would improve
2. We expect situations to change with time without doing anything to change them.
While it is lovely to be optimistic and hopeful about people and life in general, it is disastrous to hold onto some thing negative hoping it to become positive in sometime.
Problem comes when we are not sure of when to let others go. We keep dwindling between ‘its okay’ and ‘this shouldn’t have happened’. We keep waiting for the last string to break and by then we are completely drained.
How to find out if you should hold on or let go
The first sign to tell you that it is high time you let it go is that things have not changed or improved over the last few months.
One may argue what about the cliches that people change; the optimism? The teachings that nothing is impossible and one should never quit?
Drainer (always needs you and contacts you only when he needs you)
Shamer (keeps criticising you)
Discounter (discounts or challenges everything you say)
Gossip (keeps talking about others at their back).