I think it is about expectations. We get upset when our expectations are not met and that can happen with anything. We don’t want to live anymore when we feel our life is not upto our expecatations; we feel cheated on by friends and lovers when we think they did not perform as per our expectations.
All the books, self help blogs etc say that we should not have high expectations from others and while I think I keep least expectations from others which is probably a good reason I have happy relationships with most of my friends, colleagues and others, I fail to follow this with my spouse.
With Sanjay, I have a huge pile of expectations. He fulfills most of them most of the times but he is a human being. He fails sometimes. And this totally drives me crazy. Today is one such time.
Like the title of this post says it starts and ends with me, I tell myself the same! It is not necessary that I have to depend upon him for every need of mine. I should be capable of fulfilling my own needs. That too, when I am an educated, modern, independent woman.
As I write this post and do a bit of introspection, I find out that maybe he didn’t fail, I failed. I failed in keeping myself ‘self-sustained’. I should not need anyone else to make me happy or sad, not even my spouse. That is what I believe in and this is what I try to tell my readers through Womanatics.
I am so happy that while writing this, I feel a new usher of energy and a positivity in me. Last night I was upset, was looking for ways to cheer me up and constant asking me that why I am reacting this way when I know I should not. This happens to me once in a few months. And this showed me that probably my heart and my mind are not in co-ordination and they are well beyond my control.
This has broken my bubble of illusion that I had built around me that I can control my emotions. It is so helpful to know one’s short comings; you can improve them. I am going to work on this and get myself to a state when my happiness and sadness are in my control. And I think half of its already done through this post
This blog lets me write my mind out which is such a relief and you guys have been amazing. Thanks for being there. Even if you don’t read it, I always assume that you all are reading it
Have you also felt when someone very important or rather the most important person failed to meet your expectations? How did you deal with it? I would love to know in comments. Lets talk!
If you like any article on Womanatics, please be kind to spread the word by retweeting or liking it. This is a small token of appreciation for my writing and this boosts my confidence like nothing else.
I can relate to you Surabhi… I've had many a disappointments regarding expectations. Then I realized that I wasn't setting realistic standards, be it for myself or others. Even then, it wouldn't work out at times. Then I thought of talking it out with my dear ones. Let's face it, if we don't have expectations for our dear ones then who else will we have it for? After the talk, I would understand them and my frequency with them better. So I know now what usually follows. But with new acquaintances, I don't keep any expectations.
Above all this, I am in complete agreement with you about self analyzing why something bothers us or what makes us happy.
Like always, a brilliant write up !
Hey Swathi,
Thanks a lot for writing in. First because you are the first one to write on this post, second you said it so well. If we don't have expectations from our loved ones, who would we have it from? True. And I guess that starts it. Because if a friend does not fulfill the expectations, I think it hurts us lesser than what it does when our loved ones don't fulfill.
Thanks again for writing! Love ya 🙂
Hi surabhi, greetings. You have discussed every women's internal feeling with perfect words…it is only upon us weather to be happy or sad.
Here is the line told by my caring n senti husband to me in early days of our marriage. " Expectations reduces joy…! Expect less from others n give as possible joy others"
I know, it is not possible to maintain same thought always…:(
But for sure, I also agree with the thought that It is only the person's perspective towards life how he/ she feels about it.
Anyways,Thanks for sharing this. I m feeling good that it not only happens with me. We all r in the same boat…:)
Hi Prajakta,
It happens with everyone. with time, expectations rise but they fail as well. Being happy within is the key. I am so happy you liked it. Keep coming back. 🙂
In my view do each n every task u have been given wid full joy …feel gud about urself that u hav been done it so well cheer urself!! Expectations poisons our lives…let everything come at its own :))love urself while giving others Wat u have…give 100% expect less.
Hey Priya,
thats right.. and i wish we could do so! 🙂 we keep forgetting these simple things hain na..?