Falling in love, getting tied in the wedlock with the love of your life is like a dream come true! You have had your Prince Charming, a lovely home, two little angels, a pet, a dream car, the desired job. Life is a smooth sail. Why are you not happy? What next?
Why this question?
There’s a second inning life wants to play with you. You are running in forties. Birthdays don’t entice any longer. They make you feel, you are aging.
Mirror teases you reflecting those fine lines of aging very faithfully and you are on the look-out for the perfect lotions and potions that might make you look younger.
Fine accessories, costumes, cosmetics, a perfect diet can make your LOOK younger.
How about FEELING younger?
Your heart can’t be beguiled that easy!
A sudden message, a phone call, and a comment on your pic by someone you had a fancy for, years ago, and you find your heart-beat back! Butterflies in your stomach! The pleasant feel! What could be the reason behind this renewed interest in you?
Can love happen twice?
An average woman in her forties, caught in the labyrinth of daily grind, welcomes the waft of air that a whirlwind romance ushers in. This is like a drooping plant perking up at once with a refreshing gust of rain.
This be the age when mates have started taking each other for granted, not a single word of praise passed, no compliments paid, parting hugs and kisses no more deemed necessary, sex reduced to a mere mechanical act failing to arouse the passions, a mere drug may be to induce sleep, a void deepening night after night, a gap widening day after day.
The long parched heart for love and the longing to be desired comes into active play when that someone, an outsider pays you attention be it in the case of a male or a female.
You start looking into the mirror once again; the praises showered make you feel young and vibrant once again.
You begin falling in love with yourself.
Kids are busy with their sports, studies, friends, latest smart phones. They find little to share with you.
Your hubby is too busy amassing comforts for the life ahead to be able to enjoy the present with you.
You feel a little neglected.
But, you welcome this seclusion.
That someone who stealthily enters your heart through a message is the balm to your sores. You would like to break the veil of reserve and be a little more open to him. You discuss things first insignificant and then moving on to the most vital subjects of your married life. You’re knowing all this while that this is wrong. Grossly wrong.
Take a break. Before you are lured into a date with that past associate.
One act of negligence and the hard earned faith, the palace of domestic happiness shattered to pieces!
Conjugal love is like the big constant waves, the rhythm of your life which boldly weathers all such tempting phases on the course of married life if the wakeful perception of the soul is kept intact.
A perfect fencing of mutual trust and belief in the partner’s goodness can keep you both safe and secured within the circumference of love and shared responsibilities.
The best security blanket to kids is a pair of parents that respect and trust each other.
Do you think your husband doesn’t notice you anymore?
You no more feel like talking to him on phone for hours like you used to?
You no more feel like satisfying his whims at the cost of your physical comfort?
Above all, you feel better at ease when he’s left for work?
Does he fail to satisfy your demands?
Does he not make sure that kids have a quality time with him?
Has he ceased to be loyal?
Does he not go in drooping spirits when you are in blues?
You know the answers.
Feed upon the sweet memories of your courtship days. Remember how going against your grain, you had proposed him. How you loved to hang on to each of his words! How your heart would do somersaults at a glimpse of his? How it would spin and dance as if on toes when he whispered in the most spine smouldering tone ‘I love you.’ Remember watching those late night movies hand in hand?
Above all, remember when you underwent the agony of miscarriage, how he was on pins and needles too? How he took care of you, fed you with his own hands?
Why not fall in love with your partner once again with a renewed passion?
Why not make a way again through stomach to his heart? You haven’t still forgotten he likes aloo dum the best. Made by none else than you!
Why not spend the fortune in your Prince Charming’s honour? You two have amassed all that golden dust for a happy life TOGETHER no?
Why not refuel yourselves by going on family outings whenever monotony raises its head?
Throw some teasers his way.
A kiss almost unexpected, a tight hug whispering the same rocking three magical words while he leaves for work, a beautiful smile as if conveying ‘I will be waiting’ rushing to the balcony bidding him ‘bye’.
See how does it make his day! He’s going to surprise you too. May be tonight itself? All day, he’s been basking in the smiles, your kiss, your hug and the sweet moments of love you have had together till date.
Guess what! He really loves you.
With those lines of aging too.
You love him too. Too much to be distracted by a whirlwind romance.
So, you are going to put on the sari he loves to see you in, his favourite lipstick, his favourite fragrance, jasmine flowers in the living room and that ardour, the ardour of love! May be you are in for some lovely surprises too!
Note: This post is written by Maya Khandelwal. She is the author of two books ‘My favorite mistake ever’ and ‘Just Zindagi.’