The Bluest Eye: A Book Review and A Tale Of Colorism

I recently finished reading Toni Morrison's The Bluest Eye. 

Toni is an acclaimed author who has won several awards for her writing including The Noble Prize in 1993. The Bluest Eye is Morrison's first novel written in 1970.

Having heard and read a lot about Toni Morrison in various online and offline magazines and having read her few columns in NYT, I was tempted to read one of her works. I picked up The Bluest Eye because it spoke about a cause that I deeply feel about and the cause is colorism. 

Few weeks back, Oprah asked on her FB page about stories on colorism. She asked the readers to send in our stories of color discrimination to her, if we felt discriminated against because of our color. I sent in my story - a story of feeling inferior because of my dark color. 

Two days later, I heard from the Harpo Media Studios. Yes! You read that right. One of the producers of Oprah's Life Class contacted me to ask if I would be willing to appear on the show to speak about discrimination against dark color. Things proceeded well but I could not get onto the show because we had very limited internet capacity here and they wanted super high internet speed. :( 

I am dark and I have no qualms about it whatsoever. It won't be true if I say I never had any grudges against my complexion. I did. When I was young, I used to talk to God and ask him why I was dark. I would look at almost all the girls of my class, who were mostly fair, and wonder why I couldn't be as fair as them. 

With time, I learnt a lot. About colorism. I learnt that color is just a shade. A mere shade of skin. 

While there were people who made me inferior for my dark skin color, there were men who made me feel beautiful. Truly beautiful. My dad was the first man who made me feel so comfortable in my skin. And now its Sanjay who feels I made dark skin look sexy and beautiful. *blush*

But despite these, there were times when I wish I was fair. The fairest of all. And this is where I resonate with this book - The Bluest Eye. 

The book is about a young black girl named Pecola who is so black that she is made to believe she is not just ugly but the ugliest. She then wishes to have The Bluest Eyes so that she could become beautiful. 

The book is the story of Pecola, a poor, young black girl who suffers a lot in life apart from her deep rooted inferiority complex. 

Pecola fervently wishes to have deep blues eyes so that she becomes beautiful. But why only blue eyes? Because white people mostly have blue eyes and white is considered beautiful.

The story revolves around Pecola and her life that has many other characters including Claudia and Freida, two sisters who are also Pecola's neighbours. Pecola's family in which his mom and dad keep fighting always, verbally and physically. 

The book deals with many sensitive issues other than just colorism. Incest is another main plot of the story. One day Pecola is doing the dishes in the afternoon and her intoxicated father rapes her. He does not rape her because he wants to be wild with her but because he loves her and he imagines 'having sex with her' is a way of expressing that love. 

Pecola becomes pregnant at a young age and now the whole neighbourhood pray for the life of the baby. They plant marigolds in the hope that the baby would live but this year, nor the marigolds bloom and Pecola gives birth to a premature baby who dies soon. 

In end of the novel, Pecola contacts a pastor and requests him to grant her wish - blue eyes. He manipulates her to make her believe that she has got blue eyes. In the end, Pecola begins to believe that she was granted her wish and that she indeed got blue eyes. 

The novel ends on a very poignant note when Claudia narrates that she feels, everyone, including them used Pecola as a scape goat to feel beautiful. In order to feel prettier, they all made Pecola feel uglier.

This is a marvellous book by Toni Morrison and I don't feel the need to say that this is a must read book. It is evident that you must read the book to feel the anguish and the laments of a woman who feels she is not pretty enough. 

The language is simply yet pathos laden. Morrison uses multiple narrations through out the book which sometimes confuses for a while but it helps in conveying the message clearly. There are numerous incidents in the book that jolt you as you read. Like how the fair new girl in the school calls these black women 'ugly'. She shouts 'you are ugly, I am pretty'. 

Before adding more and ruining the thrill, I would suggest, you go and pick up a copy of the book right away. Here is the link you can buy it from.
  

If you buy the book from the above link, I would receive a very small but crucial contribution from you which would be of immense help to me to keep the blog running. Thank you so much for your support!

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Fear of Commitment? Read Committed

I am on a major reading spree these days. Recently, I have finished about 8-10 books in the last 2 months or so and this is an achievement considering the fact that I had not read any book last year. 

Reading gives an altogether new perspective. It refreshes and it takes to you a different world. I am aware that a majority of my readers read books. If you don't, I suggest you read my post on 'how to develop reading habits'. 

Source: google.com

 After I finished reading Eat, Pray, Love, I wanted to read something on similar line. A friend had once suggested that to truly understand a writer's mind, you must read multiple works of the same writer. Following this advice, I ordered Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert. 

Committed is not a love story and nor it is a complete non-fiction. It lies somewhere in the middle of non-fiction and a memoir. 

If you remember, in Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth's journey ends with falling in love with Brazilian man in Bali. Committed follows their journey afterward. 

Now, the writer, the narrator and the protagonist of the book Committed, does not want to get into the vows of marriage after having failed in her previous marriage. The Brazilian man, who is also a divorcee, does not intend to get married either. Both of them decide to be in love and live-in forever without signing any kind of social contract. 

Problems arise when US authorities deny a visa to Felipe, the Brazilian man Liz has fallen in love with. 

Felipe can't enter US, Liz doesn't want to leave US but wants to be with Felipe. The only solution to their crisis is - marriage! 

A US official suggests that they can live together in the US only if both of them marry each other and live in the US as a couple. 

In the lack of any other potent resolution, and out of their true love for each other Felipe and Liz begin to consider marrying each other. 

Committed is about that. About prodding her heart to know if she can settle into a marriage. It is a book that researches if marriages can 'really' be everlasting and happy. The book is about how Liz found her way of peace through the chaos of the turmoil that surrounds the word 'marriage' and the process of 'being committed'. 

The language and the writing style of the book is the same as that of Eat, Pray, Love. Just that Committed is not as open, light and witty as the former. But nevertheless committed talks about a serious issue. In the book, Liz has got her life and her mind under control and she is now convincing her to marry the man she loves. 

Source: Google.com

The book is full of research done by Liz as she explores American and European history for the roots and meaning of women and the marriage. 

She contemplates about a woman's state of life and mind after she gets married. This sometimes makes her firm that marriage is not her cup of tea but when she sees women happily married and she notices marriages around her that have survived several decades together, she starts to believe that maybe marriage is not the end. It is the beginning. 

All in all, the book is  well written, well researched and quite helpful for anyone who is planning a trip down the aisle. 

If I have to choose one out of the two of Elizabeth's books, obviously my vote goes to Eat, Pray, Love but if I may pick Committed over the rest of the myriad fiction and non-fiction books written lately. 

I would say, you must give a read to this book too! 

If you wish to buy this book, please buy by clicking on the link below that takes you to Flipkart. Each purchase that you make through the Flipkart links on my blog, gives an albeit small but crucial token of your support to me. Thank you all for your love and support. 

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Eat, Pray, Love: The New Mantra of Life!

Its been a long time since my last post. Forgive me for the delay. Lot had happened here in Andamans. A flood! And we were stuck in the flood for more than 48 hrs! Thankfully, we reached home safe and sound and so did everyone else too. The cyclone, Phailine, that struck Orrissa and AP, had struck Andamans earlier and no one even reported on national TV! Nonetheless, we are just happy to escape the flood without any casualty. 

Well, over to the blog now. 

I recently read a book that touched my heart in a way that no other book ever did, even though the book deals with something starkly different from what I am experiencing in my life right now.

You have guessed it right! I am, indeed, talking about the book 'Eat, Pray, Love' by Elizabeth Gilbert. 

I had ordered the book long ago but got to read it only a fortnight back. And as I read it, the more I read it, the more I loved it. The book has also been made into a movie by the same name. 

Eat, Pray, Love is a woman's journey across three countries where she searches for peace and stability in her life. This woman is none other than the author herself, Elizabeth Gilbert. 

Elizabeth, who is fondly called Liz throughout the book, is in her early thirties, has gone through a failed marriage that ended in a devastatingly ugly divorce, failed in another short rebound love fling, and who is now out on a journey of one year that would change the way she looks at her life. 

The book is a memoir and runs in first person narration. Over the next 250 pages, the book spans across Liz's odyssey into the three countries and Liz talks about her life in these countries as things happen. Also, the book gives you some amazing quotes that I have listed throughout this post in highlights. 

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life."

She first lands in Italy for four months where she not only learns Italian language (out of her pure love for the language), but also eats lots of tasty, delicious pasta and gains weight. Hence, Eat! 

Next to Italy is India, a destination for four months in an Ashram near rural Mumbai. In India, Liz stays at an ashram, learns meditation, finds a path to devotion and peace and gets rid of the commotion and chaos of her life. Hence, Pray! 

Finally, she flies to Indonesia where again she lives for four months and learns how to find balance in life. It is here in Indonesia that Elizabeth gets ready for falling in love again and she actually does fall in love with a Brazilian man. Hence, Love! 

“This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something.” 

Like I said, the book is about a woman who seems to have lost lot in life in terms of love and marriage. But she still has her well paying job that she not only needs but also desperately loves. While, my life, atleast at the moment of reading the book and writing this post, has lots of love but not job or career. Still, I absolutely loved the book. Why? 

Eat, Pray, Love is written in a language that is universal. I may be happily married right now but I did have my share of heart breaks. Many of them. There were times when I sat on the bathroom floors and sobbed for hours to find out a way. Just a way. Just a bleak ray of light to show me the direction. I had times of utter shock and grief when I did know what I wanted from my life. And there were times when I knew what I wanted, but I did not know how to have what I wanted. 

“I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism.” 

During those times, I also did what Liz did in her book. Just that I did it in parts. 

Since childhood, I have this habit of rushing to the nearest bakery when I was upset. Each time I was scolded or I lost something precious or I just failed in some exam, I would rush to the bakery and eat a pastry! Really. It did wonders to my mood. I have got a strong sweet tooth for nothing! 

Then there were other times when I lived away from family in a working women's hostel or in a rented flat and the bakery was a little far away and I felt terribly tired to walk, I would just lie down, close my eyes and converse with God. I would often ask him, 'why me?', 'why only me?', 'why not me when you are upto for a good thing?'

Finally, when nothing of this worked - no pastries and no more conversations, I took to travelling. Like when I came to India after my MBA, I deliberately took up the job in Kolkata even though I knew no one there. I wanted to travel, explore a new place and find solace in solitude. I made some lovely friends there who are now my friends for life. It was here that I made a short and quick trip to Manipur with a very close friend and that trip was life changing in many ways.

“When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.”

So, even though I do not and can not visualise my life as Elizabeth Gilbert's life in Eat, Pray, Love, I still can relate to her and her book very well.  I am sure I could have related very well even in the absence of these pastries, conversations and the travels. 

The best thing about the book is the way it is written. The book uses very simple, easy to comprehend English that is not only witty but very sensible and honest too. The book is written in a way that it feels as if Elizabeth is narrating her story to you, just to you, sitting right in front there. She has opened up her life to bits and that only makes her adorable. 

I so wish to meet her now. After reading her book, it feels I know her. Not a surprise, I am sure anyone who reads her book feels the same. 

The book is funny. The first page itself gives you smiles and the smiles only keep broadening in the pages to follow.

“In desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding they be what we need of them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we created in the first place.”

Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love is a manifesto of finding balance and stability in life. She teaches how many a times you just need to let go of things silently and watch a new life coming out of darkness. 

The book does not advise anything in particular. It is certainly not a self-help book. It is a book that just makes you feel better. It tells you that it is wise, essential and easy to laugh at yourself. Liz does just that. 

This is a book that you should pick up each time you feel low. This would pick you up! For sure! 

A MUST READ BOOK FOR ALL WOMEN! I highly, highly recommend it. I wish I was earning enough to give a copy each to all my beloved readers. I hope a day like that comes soon! 

If you wish to buy this book, please buy by clicking on the link below that takes you to Flipkart. Each purchase that you make through the Flipkart link on the blog gives an albeit small but crucial token of support. Thank you all for your love and support. 

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LEAN IN Book Review: Lessons From Sheryl Sandberg's Book

Sheryl Sandberg is the COO of the Facebook and has recently written a marvellous book on 'Women at Work' titled LEAN IN.

I read the book and was spell bound not just by the way Sheryl Sandberg has written the book but also with the wisdom she imparts throughout those 180 pages of Lean In.

I read on internet that Sheryl's book is making waves in the international market and thus decided to give it a read. I had barely read about first 30 pages and I knew why it is a bestseller and why it deserves to be one.

Lean In is a great book for every woman, whether she works outside the home, inside the home or even if she doesn't work at all. This simply written book is a gospel for women who want to succeed but hold back due to their inner fears and 'leave before they actually leave'.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading the book while going through the various anecdotes that Sheryl has mentioned in the book and the several snippets she provides from her own life. It is nice to see how comfortably Sheryl has opened up about her own life, kids, her fears and her determination to succeed.

One knows for sure that Sheryl has had it all - research assistant at the World Bank, management consultant at McKinsey, six and a half years at Google where she quit it at the post of VP Global Online Sales and Operations and now more than five years at Facebook as Chief Operating Officer. Reading about her life and how she made the choices that she made is indeed inspiring and a learning in itself.

Sheryl's book is a feminist book but it is not an anti-men book and that is what I like about it the most. Throughout the book, Sheryl Sandberg points out how there is still a visible paucity of women CEOs across the world and in other leading positions but not once she holds men responsible for this. She actually does not get into this kind of debate.

She just explains how we women can make the most of our potential by believing in ourselves and by 'sitting at the table'.

The phrase LEAN IN is used extensively in the book and implies that women must LEAN IN, come forward and raise their hands when they are at work.

I would say this is a MUST READ for every woman and particularly for women who find themselves at the cross roads of managing a home and work.

Lean In is full of wisdom and I have picked up some of my favorite lessons from the book. Here we go:


1. Choose The Right Partner -

When looking for a life partner, my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated, and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier. 

2. Don't Leave Before You Leave - We women often leave before we actually leave. How many times it happens that we give up on an opportunity thinking that we might not be able to handle the job pressure or we might not be able to give time to this demanding job because of my family or because my baby or just because I would be planning a baby by then? Sheryl says that unless that stage comes, do not give up on any great opportunity. 

3. Don't Have I-Will-Do-It-Myself Attitude - Sheryl points out that many of us have the habit of doing things by ourselves. We tell our spouse to do something, he does it wrong and from the next time onwards, we take it upon ourselves to do it. Stop this. Let him do it. So what he does it wrong. Let him make mistakes and learn. He will eventually do it right and you will get a helping hand. 

4. While Choosing A Career Path, Choose The Path That Promises Growth - This is one great piece of advice not only for women but for everyone. The picture below shows what Sheryl says in the book. 

5. Don't Try To Please Everyone - Again this is one piece of advice that is applicable to everyone but more to women. We always get in the mode to try to please everyone and that is what that takes us back. 

6. When In Doubt, Ask - What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid - Women do get great opportunities on their way but they let go of them because of they are afraid. 'This company's culture is very competitive', 'There is too much of work pressure', 'How would I handle my family and work?', 'What if I am not able to deliver?' - these are just some of the fears that we have. Sheryl advises us to leave these fears aside and then take the call. Ask yourself what would you do if you were not afraid. 

7. Lean In and Sit At The Table: This is the most important lesson that one gets from the book. Women need to Lean In more towards their work. They need to get involved and they need to learn to sit at the table. Sheryl points out that in meetings, men generally sit at the table while women sit a little away from the main table. Women need to shed the apprehensions and need to come forward! 

In my opinion, Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In is a great and a must read book for women. If not for anything, read it for your daughter so that we see a change 20 years from now! 

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My Top 10 Movies on Marriage

Marriage.

It is the most difficult task yet it is the most rewarding and the easiest too. A marriage is full of risks and rewards, of highs and lows and of happiness and sorrows. No marriage escapes from these cycles and no one knows exactly how to play it.

Do we really need books and movies on marriage? Probably not. Perhaps yes. We do not 'need' others to tell us or to show us how to live in our marriage but perhaps it helps to take lessons from others. Movies on marriage are generally real. They talk about an average couple that is out there in this big, vast world living in a world of their own. Watching them moving on with their lives gives us a sense of connection that makes us feel that yes, I have felt that too.

Photo Source: Thinkstock

Today, I am going to talk about my top 10 picks of movies that teach a lesson or two about marriage. These are NOT the movies that show elaborate weddings and nor are these your typical fairy tale romantic movies. These are films that share one common thread - marriage. To see my best romantic movies, click on the link.

Please share your choice and let me know in the comments, if there is a great movie that I have not included in the list.

1. Masoom 

If I have to pick one thing about this movie that makes it great, then I become dumb for just about everything of the movie is so remarkable. Direction, performances, background score, script, story practically everything. The movie deals with how a marriage survives an extra marital affair of the husband who not only slept with another woman after being married for seven years or so but also gave birth to a son who has now come to live with him.

I think the movie is great as it shows how a marriage goes into turmoil but comes up strong in the end.

2. When A Man Loves A Woman

"It's horrifying how much you can hate yourself for being low and weak and he couldn't save me from that. So I turned it on him; I tried to empty it onto him. But there was always more, you know. When he tried to help I told him that he made me feel small and worthless. But nobody makes us feel that, we do that for ourselves. I shut him out because I knew if he ever really saw who I was inside, that he wouldn't love me. And we're separated now, he's moved away, and it was so hard not to beg him to stay. And I don't know if I'm going to get a second chance but I have to believe. That I deserve one. Because we all do."

Though the basic theme of the movie is alcoholism, I somehow find it very romantic and a lovely love story. The herione of the movie, a loving wife and a mother of two is an alcoholic and needs help. The pilot husband who has to now take care of his two young daughters, his ever changing flight schedule and find new ways to express his love for his wife, decides to help her. She goes to a de-addiction centre and finally comes out clean.

The movie is great in the way it teaches us how a strong marriage can deal with any threat - even alcoholism.

3.  Tuesday, After Christmas

This is a Romanian movie and probably the only movie that generates a bit of sympathy for the man caught between two women. Paul, the main character is married for 10 years and has a daughter. He has a warm, friendly relationship with his wife but feels nonchalant and misses the spark. He thus gets into an extra marital affair with a young woman who awakens the lost passion in his life. Paul's life takes a turn when he has to choose one of the two women this Christmas.

There have been many movies about infidelity but this one is different in the way it shows how monotony creeps in and shows the man as a person and not a villain. This movie tells you the the tale of a man who respects his marriage but loves someone else. Sometimes, some situations become inevitable. 

4. I Love A Married Man

This is a Russian movie that I totally love. It is a movie beautifully made on the complexities of marriage and love. You can read my review of the movie by clicking on the link on the title. The movie explores how two people outgrow each other in marriage and what happens when a kid play its role. 

If a marriage does not work, you can't blame the other woman or the other man. 

5.  Away From Her

"I'm thinking that sometimes you just have to make the decision to be happy. Just decide. Things aren't ever what you hoped they'd be. Not ever, for anybody. The only thing that separates one kind of person from another is there are some who stay angry about it and there are some who... accept what comes their way."

There have been legions of movies made on 'Alzheimer's disease' and there have many outstanding movies but there is one movie that talks about the disease and marriage and this is the one! The Notebook also celebrates love in the time of Alzheimer but while the latter is more about falling in love and living it throughout, the former is about staying married and dealing with the disease and infidelities. The couple is a retired married couple who have been marries for many years. The wife now begins to suffer from Alzheimer and when she sees herself as a risk to the family, she decides to go to a nursing home. There she becomes friends with another patient and begins to forget her husband. The husband visits her after a month and feels upset to see her happy with another man and reflects upon his life doubting that her wife might be just putting up the act of dementia to punish him for his infidelities. 

The movie touches you with its subtle plot that one's wrong doings continue to haunt and true love is actually in seeing your partner happy. 

6. Dosar

How can a list of movies dealing with relationships be complete without mentioning a Bengali movie? Feel proud to say that Bengali art has always explored the subjects of marriage, women liberation, women's fantasies and extra marital affair with more finesse than any language. Dosar is a masterpiece in my opinion atleast with the kind of script the movie deals with. 

A married couple's life is turned upside down when the husband is grieved after the death of his mistress in a car accident. The wife is shattered to know this and is contemplates divorce but is resisted by the loyal, loving wife in her. The husband has to not only deal with the loss of a loved one but also has to now regain his wife's trust and love. 

The movie preaches the universal lesson that forgiveness is the key to peace. 

7. Hope Springs

  "Even great marriages have terrible years"

This is a true marriage movie as it just talks about marriage throughout. A middle age couple who are devoted to each other but live a separated life. They sleep in different rooms and find no spark in the marriage though they love each other. They decide to visit a therapist and he begins to suggest them ways to embrace each other.

The movie ends with both of them loving each other physically and we learn how every marriage does not have to end at the loss of that passion!

8. Ijaazat

This has to be my favorite movie when it comes to relationships and particularly marriage. The lead character is Mahender whose marriage is fixed with a school teacher named Sudha. He visits Sudha once to tell her that he is in love with Maya, a strong headed, independent urban woman. In a turn of events, Mahender marries Sudha and they live happily but Maya returns back to their life. The movies goes on with lives of these three characters and how they entwine into each other's life.

9. There's Always Tomorrow

"Love is a very reckless thing. Maybe it isn't even a good thing. When you're young and in love, nothing matters except your own satisfaction. The tragic thing about growing older is that you can't be quite as reckless anymore."

This one is yet another beautiful marriage movie that deals with the subject of infidelity. A decently married couple has two kids and now live a routine life. They plan for a vacation but wife cannot go and urges her husband to go alone. There he runs into his ex colleague who is now a glamorous woman but lonely. They become friends. The kids come to know about their father's growing friendship with this another woman and ask her to leave and not break their parent's marriage.

The other woman leaves as the husband waits for her besides a window! So true that in marriage, you cannot blame or credit someone else for its failure or success. How you live your marriage is solely upon you.

10. A Separation

Simin: Your daughter's future isn't important to you?

Judge: There are a lot of children who live in this country. You say none of them have a future?

An Iranian movie that many of us can relate to. A couple is faced by a daunting situation when they have to pick one of the two - move to a another city for a better upbringing of their only daughter or stay back to take care of a father-in-law who suffers from Alzheimer's. The wife decides to move and takes the daughter along while the husband stays back and takes care of his father. In the course of time, the husband gets into a legal trouble where he has to prove his innocence and the wife comes back to help him resolve. 

So true that in an intricate relationship like marriage, making choices is not always easy. 

I hope you liked the list. If you did, please share it with the ones who may enjoy reading it! 

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15 Weight Loss Tips From 'Don't Lose Your Mind, Lose Your Weight' and a Book Review

Weight Loss books are such a rage these days. The problem of obesity has engulfed the entire world and weight loss is the first thing on everyone's mind. I am no exception. Post birth of my daughter, I have been trying to lose weight inconsistently. I work on it for few days and then forget about it and chill out. It is only in recent times that I decided to take things seriously and started keeping a check on my body and state of mind. Thankfully, it is showing results. 

In this journey of weight loss, I have read several weight loss books. Two of them I have reviewed here on my blog. One is Sexy @ Sixty and the other is Losing It. 

Rujuta Diwekar's 'Don't Lose Your Mind, Lose Your Weight' is a path breaking book in my opinoin. It is very different from the other books in the same genre. 

Dont lose your mind, lose your weight is probably
one of the best books on weight loss

I think the first thing that makes this book different and better than many others is that it takes a 'new' approach towards weight loss and healthy living. It is probably the only book that tells you to EAT TO LOSE WEIGHT. 

Rujuta has done total justice to food by saying that no food is harmful or bad. All foods are good. Just that the goodness or the badness of a food depends on how and how much we eat it. It explains the nutrients - carbs, proteins, fats and vitamins. And also foods that provide these nutrients to our body. The whole book is full of wisdom from 'what to eat' to 'how to eat' but the main feature of the book is the four principles that Rujuta preaches. 

I am going to share some of the best lessons that I picked from the book:

1. The weight that a weighing scale tells you is not your real status of health. Our body weight is made up of 2 parts - the fat weight and the lean body weight. The former is the fat while the latter is the weight of our bones and muscles. A weighing scale the weight of the body and not the fat. For eg. Serena Williams weighs more than a FTV model but Serena is far fitter than the models. 

2. If you must eat chips and fried foods make them at home and fry them. You will use good oil and eat your food hot, so they will taste better and also be more nutritious. Since this is a long process you will land up doing this maybe once a fortnight or so. 

3. Just as everyone is different, everyone's diets have to be different too. Don't try someone else's regime. Exercise is non-negotiable. Unless you exercise, you will never see enough of a result, despite all your good eating habits. 

4. Be nice to your stomach. If you want to lose weight, savour every bit of what you eat, slowly and mindfully, and you will naturally find your threshold. All you need to train yourself to do, is to be attentive to your stomach. 

5.  5 Basic Rules To Increase Nutrient Intake - 

• Eat food that is prepared fresh. Consume your food within 3 hours of cooking. Never deep freeze your food. 
• The smaller the number of people the food is cooked for, the better its nutrient level. More the people, the earlier you start preparing the food and the greater the quantity of the food, the more oil and heat it requires. 
• Eat your vegetables and fruits whole instead of cutting them into pieces, because you lose vitamins from the surface. The larger the exposed area, the more the loss of nutrients. 
• Remain loyal to your genes and eat what you have been eating since childhood. Right from the time you are in your mother's womb, your body is used to eating, digesting and assimilating certain foods. 
• As much as possible, eat local produce and seasonal fruits. Mangoes are great in the summer. Eat them just once a day as a mini meal in themselves, and they will give you a season's supply of antioxidants. 

6. Compare the nutrient to calorie ratio. A paneer parantha is always better than a pizza. When it comes to food, think of nutrients and not calories. 

7. Carbs are very important for day to day activity. So you should not cut down on carbs. In the absence of carbs, fat can not be utilized for energy. Point is to choose low carb food. Low carb foods are fibreous in nature. For eg. brown rice, jowar, bajra etc. For carbs that are high on GI (glycemic index) for eg. white rice, sugar, you must reduce the load. The best time to eat high GI food is post exercice. 

8. When to eat fruits? - as the first thing in the morning on an empty stomach or immediately after physical exercise. Any time aside from this, the body converts the fructose from the fruits into triglycerides. Have fruits as whole and not as juice. 

9. We need protiens. They provide our body with adequate amino acids. Proteins that should be eaten are - egg whites, milk products, lentils, sprouts, nuts and soy. 

10. Fats are of two types - Saturated (solid at room temperature) and Unsaturated (liquid at room temperature). In saturated fats, ghee and milk products is the best of all as it contains short chain fatty acids which are easy to digest and promote good health. Long chain fatty acids as found in animal fats damage cardiovascular health and are hard to digest. 

11.Unsaturated fats are of three types - Mono Unsaturated Fatty Acids (MUFA), Poly Unsaturated Fatty Acids (PUFA) and Trans fats. MUFA are in olive oil, rice bran oil and peanut oil and is great for moisturizing skin. PUFA comes in two forms - omega 3 and omega 6 and we all know the benefits of these. 

12. Trans fat is the fat that is used in preserving food and gives it texture. This is to be avoided. 

13. The MOST IMPORTANT part of the book - Four principles of eating right:

Four principles of eating right

• Never wake up to tea or coffee in the morning. Instead eat real food within 10 to 15 minutes of waking up. When we sleep, our blood sugar levels drop in the night. In the morning our liver stores are almost empty. So our blood sugar is low and it's our responsibility to bring this up to an optimum level. Low blood sugar is also a reason why we feel 'low' in the morning. Eat real food. This kicks in the action of insulin, which is secreted by the body as a response to an increase in blood sugar levels. The stimulants provided through tea and coffee increase blood sugar levels but provide zero nutrition to the cells that have been starving for the last 9-10 hrs. 

• Eat every 2 hours. Eating every 2 hrs will lead to a conducive environment in the body to burn fat and thus fewer calories get converted to fat and we get a flatter stomach and no need to hold on to fat stores. 

• Eat more when you are more active and less when you are less active. We need to up our eating during high demand periods and cut down when relaxing. No food is fattening. You have to be just smart enough to choose the right time to eat it. Eating more when you are more active will make your body an effective calorie burner which will increase the metabolic rate of your body and helps you to lose weight more effectively. 

• Finish your last meal at least 2 hrs prior to sleeping. In the night, cells are naturally not very sensitive to energy or nutrients as they don't really need much so if you overload your stomach most of it will get wasted or converted to fat. If you want no stretch marks or want to reduce the ones you already have, eat 2 hrs before bedtime. 

Some notes from the book

14. If you have to eat a dessert or a pizza slice, have it as a meal in itself and have it as the first thing in the morning. Also remember, you can have it for just once or twice a month! 

15. Last but not the least, EAT RIGHT to LOSE WEIGHT. 

The book also lists some sample diets one of which is shown in the picture below. These are a rough sketch of how our eating schedule should be. 

A sample diet chart

The book many more such enlightening facts and suggestions that take us on a journey of healthy living and good eating. I just wish the book was written in a more concise and proper English language. I often find the language too crass and that, for a while, takes away the charm of reading a weight loss, non-fiction book. Also, I agree Rujuta is the official dietician of Kareena Kapoor but what is the point in mentioning Kareena in the book atleast 20 times! and then dedicating a whole appendix on Kareena's Tashan. Moreover, I didn't like Kareena's body in Tashan and probably she herself didn't too which is why she became 'normal' in her later movies. 

Nevertheless, 'Don't lose your mind, lose your weight' is a wonderful book that teaches you to treat food with respect and make the most of it. 

This is a book that should be read every time you lose track with your body and is a MUST READ book. 

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Movie Review, The Terminal: Going Home Never Felt So Good!

Last night I watched 'The Terminal' for the third time. Each time I watch it, it seems it is the first time I am watching it, such is the freshness of the movie. 

The Terminal is about a man named Viktor Navorski, who is Kra-Kozhia's citizen and is now in New York's John F Kennedy airport. The day he lands at the airport, his country gets in military coup and thus is now not recognized as a country anymore. His passport and visa are not valid and flight in and out of his country are stopped indefinitely. Hence, Viktor can't go back to his country and nor he can get into the New York city. The only place he has got now is The Terminal at the airport.

Tom Hanks as Viktor Navorski

'So, what do I do now?' Viktor asks. 'There is only one thing you can do here, Mr. Navorski. Shop', a Custom Officer replies. 

It is third movie of Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks's together. They have previously worked together in Saving Private Ryan and Catch Me If You Can.  You can now well imagine the charm that gets weaved together when two finest artists come together. The Terminal is such a fine art of work that one almost forgets that it is made. It seems like it is happening on its own instead of being written, directed or even created as a movie. 

Viktor belongs to Krakozhia, the tiniest region in Eastern Europe and is now in a state of political turmoil indefinitely, and like a loyal citizen, he loves his country. He cries when he watches the news on TV about the military coup in his country. He runs from one corner of the terminal to another to be able to hear the news so that he can know how his country is doing and gets utterly disturbed when he sees the images of shoot outs and crisis. To add to Viktor's misery is his English Language skills. He hardly knows any English except the days, yes/no and a few of greetings! But our Viktor has one great strength. He is a man of unbeatable grit. He never gives up. Not even when he does not find a place to sleep at the terminal. He instead joins two benches of chairs together to make a small bed for himself. He practically 'lives out of a suitcase', bathes in the terminal's washroom and walks around the airport in a bathrobe.

Viktor bathes in the washroom

Nothing of these trouble him. Viktor is a man who does not get troubled easily. Infact he has a knack of making troubles look easy. One the first day, Dixon, the US Custom Officer who is expecting a promotion, gives him 6 meal vouchers that Viktor can use at the Food Court, but Viktor soon loses them while he tries to help a young girl in locking her bag. He is now without food and doesn't know what to do. He soon figures out a way to make some money by returning the luggage carts to the rack and then collecting the refund. Viktor uses the dollars to buy his food at King Burger and even offers the tip! 

Dixon wants Viktor out of his airport. But Dixon also follows rules. He fears Viktor might come in the way of his promotion and thus wants Viktor to leave his airport. Where Viktor goes out of the airport is not Dixon's problem. All he wants is to let 'Viktor be somebody else's problem.' Dixon even manipulates Viktor into walking out of the airport by keeping the airport doors off guard for a brief 5 minutes. As Viktor approaches the doors, Dixon gets restless and waits for Viktor to step out of the airport so that the officials outside the airport catch him. Basically, Dixon wants Viktor to break a law but Viktor is a law abiding person. He finds his ways through the busy airport, even applies for few jobs at the shops at the airport but never breaks a law. He does not want to break any law and nor he complains. Remember, he does not get troubled easily?

Viktor learns English while lying on his bed!

Viktor does not even complain when a shop owner at the airport keeps him waiting through the whole day for his decision on hiring Viktor only to tell him at the end of the day that the job is already filled. The shop owner can see Viktor sitting at a bench right next to his shop throughout the day. He does not like Viktor sitting there so he calls him and informs him, 'the job is already filled so can you now go and sit somewhere else.' Viktor who has been holding his urine for a long time so that he does not miss the call simply smiles and replies, 'yeah.. yeah.. I'll go to the bathroom.'

Viktor with his fine manners finds a way not only to sustain himself (he gets a job with a constructor at the airport) but also to a flight attendent's (Catherine Zeta Jones) heart. Amelia is in love with a married man and is now 39 but has not found her love. She easily opens up with Viktor and asks him out. The two become friends and discuss history. On the night when Viktor plans to propose her, he builds 1000 fountains on a wall to show her the gift that Napoleon had given to Josephine.

Viktor tells amelia that her relationship is crowded

There are few other supporting actors who give a strong backing to the whole movie. A janitor named Rajan, who initially thinks Viktor is a CIA agent, a food services employee named Enrique who is in love with an INS official and seeks Viktor's help as his go-between. Viktor helps them so well that the two later get married.

Viktor acts as go-between

While the story belongs only to Viktor Navorski, the movie belongs to three people - Tom Hanks, Spielberg and Sacha Gervasi & Jeff Nathanson, the writers of the movie. The movie does not have a plot but it tells a tale. Tom Hanks looks, walks and speaks like Krakozhian, which is a fictional country. 

I love the movie because of the character of Mr. Viktor Navorski, who is a loveable man and who keeps promises. When asked why he has come to New York, he tells how his late father was a fan of a Jazz musicians and he collected the signatures of 56 out of the 57 Jazz Musicians once featured in a newspaper. He also wanted to have the signature of the 57th musician named Benny Golson but he couldn't. Viktor then promised his father to bring that signature and keep it in a peanut can which contains the signatures of all the famous 56 Jazz Musicians. 'I keep promises', he says and we can see that yes, he does. 

When Dixon's door trick fails to get Viktor out of the airport, he tries another way. He tries to send Viktor to a political asylum if Viktor admits that he is afraid of going back to his country. Dixon asks Viktor if he is afraid to go to his country as his countrymen are suffering and there is an open violation of human rights. 

Dixon tries to tell Viktor how his country like potato chips has been crushed

'No. I am not afraid. It is home. I am not afraid of home.' Viktor adds that he is afraid of sharks, wolfsmen and ghosts, if this fear can get him to New York City. 

Dixon's second trick fails miserably too and that is because Viktor is a man who is not afraid of being himself. He is confident about himself, his goals and his ways. 

After about 9 months, the war is over in Krakozhia and Amelia gets him a one day emergency visa to get to New York City. Viktor does not want to go because Dixon has now threatened him to create problems for his friends, Rajan and Enrique. As Rajan gets to know of this, he runs on the runway so that he can be deported back to India, thus lifting the burden off Viktor and exactly then, Viktor's flight gets delayed. He now decides to work towards fulfilling his promise and leaves the airport. 

After he gets the signature, he calls a taxi. When the driver asks him where he is going, Viktor proudly and happily announces, 'I am going home.'

The movie is simple, comic and subtle. Humor is not generated. It is a part of the characters. Tom Hanks is minute and detailed in his acting and the setting of the movie is real, very real. 

Viktor Navorski reminds me of Forrest Gump, another masterpiece from Tom Hanks, and a character that viewers fall in love with. I watched the movie last night and I imagined how the world would be if everyone is Viktor Navorski - right, dutiful, honest and comfortable with themselves. 

How easy my life would be if I, let alone anyone else, be like Viktor in tough times? Very easy, my self just replied.

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Book Review: Losing It- Making Weight Loss Simple

Hi All, 

As the title suggests, today’s post is a book review. It is a review of weight loss book. 

Losing it - making weight loss simple is a book that is true to its name. 

Written by Prachi Gupta and Dhruv Gupta, the book is a simple read and explains some concepts very clearly. 

I have read many other books on weight loss including the marvelous ‘Lose your weight, not your mind’ and while I like Rujuta’s book the most, there is no denying in the fact that this book also highlights some very important truths of weight loss. 

The best part of this book is the comprehensive nature with which almost all aspects of weight loss have been covered. It talks about many foods that we eat today and tells the who is who of calories, GIs and other food index. 

Some of the important things that I learnt in the book are: 

1. Not all carbs are good and not all are bad. To judge a carbohydrate, calculate its GI (Glycemic Index). For most sedantry adults, foods with low GI are better. 
2. There is nothing like low fat snacks. They all add up to weight gain in some form.
3. Fruits like banana and mango that are often talked about as ‘fattening foods’ are actually foods that are loaded with vitamins and other nutrients and can actually help you in weight loss if you eat them in moderation.
4. Water and green tea are surely there to aid in weight loss. 
5. Olive oil is not the only healthy oil. So are safflower oil, canola oil, flaxseed oil and sunflower oil. 
6. If you control snacking between meals, you will control your weight much more easily. 
7. As you age, your metabolic rate stars slowing down. Reduce alcohol and food consumption. Increase exercise.
8. Eating meat does not make you fat. Eating meat loaded with saturated fat can make you fat. 
9. Weight loss takes time, just as weight gain takes time. Have patience and track your progress for the best results. 
10. Vitamin D helps in losing weight. Sources: sunlight, milk and dairy products, fish and fish oil supplements. 

The book gives an over all clear picture about weight loss. It tells you what works and what  does not work. 

I would not say that the book is revolutionary in this myriad of weight loss books, but yes it has its own strengths. In the end, the book lists about six success stories of people who have successfully reduced their weights but it is this part of the book that also comes across as a marketing gimmick of their weight loss startup fitho.com. 

The couple, authors of the book, are also the founders of a new weight loss start up called FitHo 

In a nutshell, I would say the book is an interesting read and is full of wisdom regarding weight loss, healthy eating and active lifestyle. 

You can contact the authors of the book for joining up their weight loss programs or for consultation at fitness at fitho dot com. 

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Movie Review: Maria Full Of Grace

Movie with international acclaims

Yesterday, I watched two cult movies. I wanted to watch both of them for a very long time and finally did so yesternoon. I will review both the movies for you here and take you on a virtual movie screening. 

Though both the movies are masterpieces in their own ways, one movie that touched my heart more than the other is 'Maria full of grace'. It is a Spanish movie that has been filmed in Ecuador and shows the life of a teenage girl in Columbia. 

Maria working in an assembly line of a flower plantation in Columbia

The film revolves around Maria, a seventeen year old girl in Columbia who de-thorn roses at flower plantation. She supports her family that has her, her grandmom, mom, elder sister who is a single mother and her infant baby. Maria's boy friend is Juan who is a plain guy unlike Maria who is filled with energy, passion and a head of hers! 

Maria gets into a verbal spat with her boss and quits her job. Her family, particularly her sister, vehemently disapprove her decision but Maria is sure she does not want to get back. She now discovers she is pregnant and when her boyfriend Juan proposes to marry her, she refuses because she is convinced that he is marrying her dutifully and not out of love for her, also she has now realized that she also does not love him. 

Maria is pregnant; her boyfriend proposes to marry her but Maria refuses

She 'quits' him as well and is now on her way to find a job in the nearby city. She meets Franklin, a friend, who offers her a job of a mule - to transport drugs from Columbia to USA. Maria agrees to become the mule and take on the risks of her body. To do the job right, she has to swallow drugs packed in rubber packets and carry them to the US inside her stomach where she would shit them out. The more she carries, the higher the money she gets. She is aware that even if a single pellet breaks up in her stomach, she could die of overdose. 

On the way she meets Lucy, who is a mule herself and carrying drugs for the third time. She 'explains' it all to Maria and even tells her that she decides to be a mule as it is a way for her to meet her sister in the NY who Lucy loves a lot. Maria's best friend 'Blanca' also joins her as a mule lured by the money that she is going to get. 

Maria and her best friend Blanca on the way to becoming Mules

Maria is held by the custom officers at the airport who suspect she might be carrying swallowed drugs. Maria confidently defends herself but they are still doubtful and ask her to sign to authorize them to x-ray her. She agrees but since she is pregnant, they can't do x-rays on her. She is let out. 

All the three mules - Maria, Lucy and Blanca, are help hostage in a motel where they have to shit out the pellets. Lucy has been complaining of 'not feeling well' since the time she boarded the flight along with Maria. Maria asks the drug workers to find a doctor for her but the witless characters reply 'as if we care!'

Maria helps lucy to feel better after a drug pellet has opened up in her body

In the midnight, at the slam of the door, Maria wakes up and finds out that Lucy is missing and that the bath tub stained with blood. It does not take long for her to understand what happened to Lucy and she now collects all the pellets and runs away to New Jersey along with Blanca. Maria knows Lucy's sister lives in New Jersey and she has her address so they both ask Carla, Lucy's elder sister, to give them a place to stay. 

Lucy's sister Carla help Maria to find a job 

Carla takes them to Don Fermando, a Spanish man who runs a consulting service to help Columbian immigrants to help them find a job or a place to stay. Maria confides in Don and tells him about Lucy and seeks his help to find out about her. A day later, he informs her that Lucy's body was found with a crude long slit through her stomach. The co-workers had cut her stomach open to get the pellets from her body. 

Maria and Blanca decide to return the pellets to the workers, collect their money and Maria gives $2500 to Don to pass on to Carla so that she could arrange for Lucy's body to be sent to Columbia. 

Maria being frisked at the airport

In the last scene of the movie, Maria and Blanca reach the airport and are about to board the flight, when Maria turns back and does not board her flight back to Columbia. 

I have seen many Hollywood movies on drugs but most of them involve action, murders and lot of blood shedding. This on the other hand shows emotion shedding. 

 Maria is just of seventeen though to be recruited as a mule, she tells she is eighteen but she clearly knows what she wants. Her best friend Blanca is exact opposite of Maria. She does not have any opinion of hers and simply follows Maria everywhere so when at the airport, Maria refuses to catch the flight, we expect Blanca to stay back too but Blanca goes ahead. 

Maria decides to stay in the US and take care of her life

Maria full of grace is a story of humans, emotions and willingness to work more than just being the story of drug trafficking. One very extra ordinary thing that strikes me about the movie is that we see Lucy dying and her body being slit apart despite her warning of feeling unwell, we can't come to hate the co-workers. The old Columbian man who brought Maria into this business and who also employs Lucy is also not hated because when before taking Maria into this business he gives her some money to help herself financially and so she could take a decision on her own and not under any pressures. 

Maria desperately needs money and hence becomes a mule but when she gets the money, she send half of it to Carla to help her sister's body sent back to her home land. 

Maria is all set to become a mule

Catalina Sandino Moreno debuts through this movie as Maria and not only she is breathtakingly beautiful, she has acted perfectly throughout the movie. She moves me. I am amazed by her character that has spunk and spontaneity. For example, she is making out with her boyfriend when he asks her where they should go to make love and she looks upwards and asks him to come to the roof top of the building under construction. She climbs up but he does not and leaves. 

Maria eyes the rooftop of the building under construction

This is the movie of a woman who knows what she wants, how she wants and why she wants. I give it a A+ and would call it a Must-must watch! I am also including it in my list of must watch movies for women. 

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