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Enrich Your Relationships

The Biggest Mistake We Make In Relationships

September 16, 2015 by Surabhi Leave a Comment

Relationships form the most important pillars of our lives. We need healthy relationships just as much as we need a healthy diet.  They are easy and yet they are one of the most complex things we have to deal with in our lives. 
We all make mistakes in relationships, of all kinds – we often take our loved ones for granted; we pile them up with expectations; we focus more on materialistic things and less on people; or we make our own set of assumptions.
Do you know what is the biggest mistake we make in relationships? The one that we all make, unconsciously? The one that kills almost every relationship?
 
The biggest mistake we make in relationships is: assuming that any relationship is fifty-fifty at any given time.
 
 

We normally believe that relationships are equal in nature and that both the partners have to put in equally half of the efforts to keep the relationship going. But this is not always true.

In my opinion, relationships are not always proportionate in nature. True, that a successful relationship requires both the partners to put in equal amount of time, efforts and energy, but this equality is not possible to be maintained every day and every moment of the day.

It all gets balanced out in the end but on a day-to-day basis, it is not wise to expect your partner to put exactly the same amount of energy and time as you do.

I don’t think I want equal participation from my husband at every stage as the first thing. I just want his commitment, affection and his dedication towards this relationship more than anything else.

Relationships are not like sports where you have to continuously monitor other person’s performance and pick the winner after every set. It is a relationship – companionship which has everything but competition.

In relationships, we are what we are. We don’t do anything with a motive or I should say with any motive other than to be happy together.

I find it useless to contemplate who works more or who does less. It is about enjoying the process. Just the way one student studies for an hour and scores 9, other may study for 2 hrs and still score 9. I am mostly concerned with the fact that he gives his best to our marriage. Similarly, he knows I give him my best and he is happy with it.

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Filed Under: Love and Relationships

Comments

  1. Keep Smiling!!! says

    December 1, 2012 at 9:27 am

    this article is tooooooooooooo gud!!!lov it!!!

    Reply
  2. RJ says

    December 1, 2012 at 5:18 pm

    When one is in a relationship, its all about enjoying each other's companionship. Once you two are one, it hardly matters who sacrifices how much because as you rightly pointed out at the end of day (life) both sacrifice almost equally. If both of you are in the relationship with your hearts completely involved, sacrifice doesn't appear sacrifice.

    Reply
  3. Varsha Naik says

    December 2, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    Ya you are right…it cannot and need not be equal. And your hubby is really sweet…running 3 kms for apples!

    Reply
  4. Surabhi says

    December 2, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    Hey Varsha.. welcome to Womanatics..!! 🙂 So nice to see you here but can you please suggest the places in Mumbai..? hihihi.. waiting for your comment to be rescued on IMBB..

    Reply
  5. Surabhi says

    December 2, 2012 at 1:53 pm

    Yeah RJ.. and I also feel that if you are happy in relationship.. it doesn't matter who has sacrificed and how much. Journey is more important. Nice to see you here RJ 😀

    Reply
  6. Surabhi says

    December 2, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    Thank youuuu for liking it and for writing here.. and keep smiling.. 😀

    Reply
  7. Anonymous says

    January 18, 2013 at 7:32 am

    I got to read the right article at the right time:) having no maid for almost two weeks now was making me go bonkers.. I also have a 1.5 yr old kid at home..I had the exact same feeling, but I realized that my list is only longer and not wider!!! Thanks surabhi:)

    Reply
  8. Surabhi says

    January 21, 2013 at 2:30 pm

    aww.. I am soo happy you liked it and it could help you in some way. Purpose of this article is met 🙂 Thanks for writing in.

    Reply
  9. Anonymous says

    September 18, 2015 at 6:48 pm

    Nice post Surabhi 🙂 Relationship are complex yet beautiful. I believe that, when two people are committed to make a relationship work then there is equal effort from both sides to nurture and create a happy space in their lives. The key to the success of any relationship is open communication..woh khete hain na "Baat karne se hi baat banti hai". Regards.PK

    Reply
  10. Surabhi says

    September 19, 2015 at 2:46 am

    I place lot of emphasis on communication as well. It is extremely important to have an open communication with your partner. It helps a lot! And you are right that both the partners have to put in equal efforts.. just that these efforts may not be equal on an every-day basis.

    Reply
  11. Akanksha Sharma says

    September 28, 2015 at 2:45 pm

    Nice relationship advice di.. I want more tips from u coz going to get married in November.. Finally found 'the one' for me 😛

    Reply
  12. Surabhi says

    September 28, 2015 at 2:58 pm

    Hey Akanksha, congratulations!!!! Many heartiest wishes to you. Lotsa love and all the very best. Muuaah.

    Reply
  13. Akanksha Sharma says

    September 29, 2015 at 6:51 am

    Thank u di 🙂

    Reply
  14. Thomas Otieno says

    December 1, 2015 at 2:13 pm

    Hi thiz Thomas, from kenya, actually i love this piece, and i think av got it at the right time, am 23, not in relationship, still doing research, this will be my reference page everyday. and i also like the way you reply to almost if not all replies, thumbs up mrs,

    Reply

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My name is Surabhi Surendra and I love my name as much as I love myself. I believe it’s good to live. You can read more on About Page. Read More…

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