If I ask you what or who is your biggest source of strength, I am sure most of you would give the same answer. For all of us, our strength and confidence comes from our loved ones, our family or the people who feel very close to. I have hardly heard anyone saying that they get their level of confidence from the money they have earned or the big bunglow they have bought or even their other accomplishments like winning an award or going on an onsite trip.
When I worked with Infosys and Accenture, I noticed how people just concentrated on the appraisal or the onsite or getting into one particular US or UK based project because it would give them the opportunity to travel abroad and earn more money. I was also in that race though for a very brief time and for completely different reasons but I agree that when I was in that rat race that mostly IT employees are in, these petty things seemed the most important of all.
Only after I quit my job, moved to Andamans and started spending more time with family and myself, I realized that the true pleasure of life is living!
Though I am now a very much changed person who lives life slowly and more mindfully than ever before, I still learn a lesson or two about life everyday.
For instance, something very beautiful happened last night that gave me immense joy. Pahal wanted to see some photographs ( we generally put a slideshow of our pictures for her amusement) and within no time, we all gathered around the laptop screen. We were going through our journey in Andaman and our time together when Pahal was a new born. As the slideshow progressed, we began to see our latest pictures and then the folder that had the pictures of my meeting with Gul Panag.
All this while, Pahal would very excitedly exclaim ‘look, this is mumma’ or ‘see what papa does’ or she would just say ‘mumma, this is Tiya!’
We came to this picture below.
As we came to this photo above, I made a sad face and said, ‘see Gul Panag is so beautiful. Her skin is radiant while I look so dull’. Sanjay did not agree with me and tried to give his little gyan on true beauty. Then we moved on to another photo where Gul looks even more beautiful and I look duller.
I again scream, ‘see.. see.. here also. I so wish I could get a glow like hers’ and this time before Sanjay could say anything, Pahal exclaimed, ‘see, she is so beautiful!!’
Now this was too much for me. My 3 yr old daughter also agreed with me but before I could confirm to her statement, I heard her again.
‘See, she looks so beautiful!’ Pahal announced pointing her finger towards me in the photo.
I was surprised so I asked her. ‘Who is beautiful? She or she?’ I asked pointing towards me and Gul.
She pointed her little finger towards me in the photograph and said very firmly, ‘she is beautiful’.
As we rolled more pictures one after the other, Pahal was constant in her response. ‘mummy kitni sundar hai.. see mumma is beautiful..’
I looked at Sanjay and told him that now that I have the assurance from my daughter, I believe I am beautiful and I don’t consider it relative!
Kids have this amazing subtle way of making people feel happy and they do it so naturally. I wish we adults could re-learn it. My daughter, on a random Sunday evening, made me feel comfortable with my skin and suggested to me that come what may, I would be the most beautiful, at least to her! She is now my biggest source of strength.