Good sense of humour, good looks, TDH (Tall, Dark and Handsome), rich and educated, simple, honest and the list goes on. These are just some of those adjectives that many of us attach with the imaginary picture of ‘the’ one.
I wanted a person who was simple yet an excellent communicator (I enjoy having conversations and I thought if he was not a good communicator then nothing for me). But now after having been married for more than two years, I can confidently say that one thing that I love the most about my hub is his strong moral character. This also includes his simplicity, his moral values and his principles.
What to do with a good sense of humour if he makes fun of others? How would you justify his good oration skills if he doesn’t have his own opinion on anything and even though he speaks well but you find it difficult to discuss anything intellectually with him? What would you do if your good looking partner irritates you with his bad habits or mean behaviour?
The point is that the one thing, the top trait, to look for in your partner is strong character.
Good character values not only make your day to day life easy and peaceful, they also give you the sense of security and strength that you deserve and desire. Moral values will also help you in sailing through those difficult times and that will determine the direction of your relationship.
If he has his moral stands intact, you can be assured that your life is not in wrong hands. He may not afford the best of the luxuries available there, but he can surely make you feel safe and will let you grow. Values play an all the more important role in times of adversity. He would not stray, given that he clearly knows what is right and what is not. In those trying times of conflicts,
these virtues give the rock solid basis to a relationship.
Even if you back to the old times, you can have the golden piece of advice from Aristotle who defined three kinds of relationships.
Relationships of Pleasure
Relationships of Utility
Relationships of virtue
You know by now the purpose of the first two. By the third type Aristotle meant a relationship in which you find a partner who lets you grow and lets you be the best person you can be. He emphasises on the importance of seeking a partner who gets into your core self and lovingly inspires you to reach your highest potential.
Qualities like good looks, good dressing sense or a good sense of humour are some of the tiniest tips of a person’s personality. The real foundation of the person lies in his character.
So ladies, and gentlemen too, next time you go on a date or meet someone, ask yourself if he/she is just superficially good or the person actually has something substantial as a human being.
No one can explain it better than Karen Salmansohn. She says
“Stop focusing on finding a Mr. or Ms. Right! Instead, focus on finding Life Plan Right — the path which leads you to grow into your highest potential. Then, when a Mr. or Ms. Potential Right comes along, you must ask yourself if this person will potentially downward spiral you to Life Plan Wrong — or lead you upwards to become your highest self in a Life Plan Right direction!”