And this is the problem.
Can it be practically possible for one single person to fulfill all our needs? To be always trying to make us happy? To always understand what we are trying to say? To never, never ever, disappoint us?
Lets flip the coin.
Are we capable of doing all of the above? Can we promise to someone that we will always understand him (and his silence)?
We may try our best to be there for the other person but we can’t guarantee forever happiness.
No one can’t. Why?
Because we are humans.
It is natural for us to have expectations from others and feel disappointed when those expectations aren’t fulfilled. It is natural for us to blame others when angry and that hurts the other person.
Since we all are humans, a perfect-forever-happy relationship becomes a myth and so does the idea of finding ‘The One.’
In fact, it is cruel and silly and immature to expect one person to take control of our life. It is simply not practical and nor it is a good idea to follow.
We all look for ‘The One’ because we want somebody else to fill a gap of our own life. We are afraid of facing our shortcomings and thus want others to accept us blindly without ever raising a finger on our weaknesses.
Moreover there is so much of peer pressure of getting into a relationship and projecting it to be a happy relationship that we blindly step into the game without thinking much about it. Such rush in settling down in relationships only gives us heart ache in the long run.
Real love requires real knowledge about one self. First get to know yourself. Learn about your egos, insecurities, weaknesses and strengths. Learn to love yourself – the way you are. Realize that more than a happy tomorrow, a happy now is important.
Invest in your present. Once your present is full of love and appreciation for yourself, your future will be emotionally safe and secure. And for this you won’t need a superman. You would just need a good man. A man who is kind, compassionate, trust worthy and someone who lets you grow.
Stop finding that elusive ‘The One.’ Instead look for a companion who believes in your growth. Who lets you be you. Who takes pride in your achievements and who isn’t insecure in himself.
That right perfect partner is only in your mind. In the movies you have watched and the novels you have read. In reality, we have humans. Real people who make mistakes but who try their best to love us.
Find a partner you can share your innermost worries with. Who listens to you when you can’t listen to your own self. Who knows your deepest fears.
Finally, remember that all relationships are hard work. All of them. To have a happy relationship, more than that special person you need an attitude to make it work. Any happy couple will tell you that they worked it out with resilience and trust and forgiveness.
Don’t look for magic right away.
Look for the ability to find magic in small, little things. Once you learn to accept things the way you are, you will feel the magic in the air. And then ‘The One’ won’t bother you much.