I read this letter through google but later realized that this was originally published at Spring In The Air website’s FB page. Spring in the air is an online flower shop.
I know of many people, children, daughter-in-laws and even daughters who treat their parents badly. This has always been beyond my understanding. I fail to understand why and how can people ignore old people’s concerns and their feelings and particularly in a country like India where olders are supposed to be revered.
My grand mother is no more. And just the moment I typed the word grand mother in the last sentence, I got tears. Wait, let me pause for sometime.
Okay, I am back. I just cried my heart out, missed her terribly. I miss her a LOT. I was very close to her and the kind of love and affection I received from her is unparalleled.
When she was alive, I know how one of my aunts used to behave so rudely with her. She never gave my ma the respect that she deserved. Everybody in the family knew about it but we couldn’t help it for we knew how my aunt was and we also knew that it was useless and impossible to explain things to her. Since the time my ma has gone, I have not visited that aunt of mine and I am sure I would never visit her again.
Thankfully, I often see my ma in my dreams. Infact, she has appeared in my dreams several times and have talked to me. She somehow understands my state of mind even while being in heaven and she comes down to the earth in my dreams and talks to me. This gives me some relief. I am sure she would come to my dreams tonight again. Who says dreams are bizarre and not real?
Well, so this letter is written by a mother to her daughter about her old age. Read on. If you like it or if it makes you emotional, call up your mom immediately and tell her that you would take care of her just the way she took yours. I agree we do not have to say few things, they are understood but still it is better to express them at times as sometimes we don’t want to say but the other person wants to hear. Also, share it to spread some concern around.
Here is the letter:
Letter from a Mother to a Daughter: “My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”… Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep. When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?
When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way… remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day… the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you.
And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. When those days come, don’t feel sad… just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you… my darling daughter.”
This letter very nicely explains the circle of life that everyone of us have to go through. Though parents hardly expect anything from their children, but they do expect, hope and demand some respect. Atleast this is all I want from Pahal, when she grows up.
Sanjay has created Pahal’s email id. Ofcourse she doesnt use it and knows nothing about it but whenever we have a special occasion like her birthday or a trip to an island that she thoroughly enjoyed, Sanjay writes her an email on that email id. When she grows up, she would see these small emails from her dad when she did not even know the meaning of email id.
Such small joys are the things that probably parents want to feel for themselves when they get dependent on their children.
I swear I would take care of my parents very very well and hope that Pahal learns to grow up to be a compassionate person as well.