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Enrich Your Relationships

True Story: Born To A Deaf and Dumb Mother

August 21, 2013 by Surabhi 16 Comments

True Story: Born To A Deaf and Dumb Mother
Love has no language. Motherhood has no parameters.
A mother does not need any language to express her love to her children and nor she needs a metric to measure her love. Doesn’t this sound like the most basic truth in the world? Yes, it does. Just that we often forget it.
I seemed to forget it too when I talked to mummy on phone one day and told her that she just didnt understand my point. I got upset and hung up. I generally don’t do it but that day we simply couldn’t converse. I was very sad at not being able to make her understand and thought of calling her up again after few hours.

women
In the meantime, I met a beautiful woman who came to meet me at my house. As we sat talking, we discussed about each other’s family. I told her how I was in a bad mood that day and asked her if she has experienced such moments.

‘No. My mother is a deaf and dumb.’

I became silent for a while and later asked her about her childhood.

‘My mummy is a deaf and dumb woman since birth. Her parents were normal and so were her other siblings but it was just her who couldn’t hear or speak. While growing up, she fell in love with my father who was a driver and used to visit my mum’s town often. My dad ignored her for many years because of her handicap but my mummy kept loving my father. One day, mummy revealed her feelings to her granny who then passed on the news to my would-be-then papa.

The granny advised papa to not ignore such true love. Papa realized my mum’s love and married her.’

As I heard her talking, I had a plethora of questions in my mind. She added, ‘Mummy was an excellent cook and made delicious food every night. She took great care of my father and loved him to the core. Few years back, they both moved to their native place in Andhra where my father died three years back and my mummy still lives there. She says she would die in the same room too!‘

I was amazed at hearing this. The conversation that started as a mother-daughter relationship was now about true love. I asked her if her father ever treated her mother badly for her inability to hear or speak.

‘Yes, he did. There was a time when my father was very stressed and he would often drink and come home like a zombie. Those days he treated mummy like a trash particularly because he used to get frustrated at her but my mummy still continued to love him and never said anything bad about him to anyone. Instead, my mummy used to take even greater care of my father in those days until papa changed his behaviour.’

‘What about you and your siblings? Didn’t you ever feel frustrated looking at your mom? Didn’t you compare her with other moms in your neighborhood and feel that wish your mum could also be like them?’ I asked her.

‘Yes, we did. We would often look at our friends and how their mums helped them in shopping and how they spoke to our teachers asking about their grades. My mummy never did that. She could not do that. Many a times it happened that when we fell sick, we waited for our father to return home so that he could take us to the doctor. For all our outdoor chores, mummy couldn’t help us.‘

‘But at the same time there would be few things that made you feel that your mum was better than others?’ I asked her again.

‘Yes. While my father was in that period of heavy drinking, he would often beat us or vent out his anger upon us but my mummy never even touched us in anger. She always showered us with her love. While we saw our neighbourhood moms taking their kids outside, we also saw them chiding and scolding their kids. But my mom never did that. We never saw a trace of anger in her eyes. Never.‘

I wanted to know if they ever faced problem in communicating with their mum. To this, she replied, ‘No. Not much. We never had problem in understanding her thoughts and nor we had a problem in expressing ours. She would just look at our face and understand if something was bothering us.‘

As I heard her speak, I thought about my mum. So what if she couldn’t understand me once, she outdoes herself the rest of the times.

It was enlightening to talk to her and since that day, I feel happier and more content. This conversation also made me realize that communication probably does not need any language.

Language is simply a medium.

Love does not need a language. It knows how to convey itself. It is we who complicate it with language.

After she left, I pondered for a while how I never used a word to convey my deepest feelings to people I feel extremely close to. I don’t use many words with my best friend Chandana who understands me promptly. I utter few words and pause and she knows what exactly I want to share. I have some of the briefest yet deepest conversations with my brother who understands me enough to read the silence. Sanjay reads my silence more than my words. Pahal and I can laugh and play for hours without speaking. We just make stupid faces and laugh heartily. And then my mum – who does not even have to look at my face to know what’s been happening with me. She just needs to hear my breathe on one end of the phone line. I immediately called her and surprisingly this time we perfectly understood each other’s point.

Do you also believe that we dont need to speak to communicate?

If you enjoyed reading this post, please share it with others by clicking the Like and Tweet buttons below. Let others also know that communication is not all about words. 

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Filed Under: Motherhood, True Story

Comments

  1. Anwie says

    August 21, 2013 at 10:05 am

    The last line…"And then my mum – who does not even have to look at my face to know what's been happening with me."

    It happens with every child. It happened with me. At times, I sit quiet when something bother me. My mom immediately catches "What's wrong?". Most times, I steal my eyes so that mom does not get a clue of my sadness. But, I fail…Truly, there is no comparison of a Mother's heart…:)

    Reply
  2. Surabhi Surendra says

    August 21, 2013 at 10:11 am

    Yes Anwei.. no comparison indeed. And it so happens often that we take these things and such gestures for granted. Isn't it? Meeting such pple help us in realizing the importance of what we have in life and the true blessing of life – love.

    Reply
  3. Anonymous says

    August 22, 2013 at 2:29 pm

    Awesome post surabhi..makes us to feel content:) miss my mom now after reading this post..:)
    how r u surabhi..hope things are going fine at your end..never got to comment for the past month,but i read every post 🙂
    tak care:)

    Love,
    Soundarya

    Reply
  4. Surabhi says

    August 23, 2013 at 3:38 am

    Yeah Soundarya.. very long time but good to know you read the posts 🙂 I LOVE hearing from my readers so try to comment whenever possible. 🙂 Yeah, such pple make us realize that what we have is enough.

    I am doing good. got our orders for delhi so lets see when I get to leave Andamans. I am not too happy with the orders. I love Andamans.

    Reply
  5. Surabhi says

    August 23, 2013 at 3:39 am

    Forgot to ask how are you..?

    Reply
  6. Blogwati Gee says

    August 23, 2013 at 11:41 am

    My first visit here Surabhi………and this post blew me away. True, we take so much for granted. What resilience the mother daughter duo have……..my respect.

    Thank you for such a wonderful post. Gonna call my mom now.

    Reply
  7. Corinne Rodrigues says

    August 23, 2013 at 11:43 am

    I remember when I was young I was fascinated meeting a young Army officer and his pretty wife who was hearing disabled and mute. I amazed me then…Reading the story you shared made me recall them and also appreciate the senses we so take for granted and misuse.

    Reply
  8. Swapna says

    August 23, 2013 at 12:00 pm

    So true Surabhi! We are blessed in so many ways and don't even realize it. But when we see someone who is making the best of what they have, it is often a jolt to our attitude towards life.

    Reply
  9. Surabhi says

    August 23, 2013 at 4:51 pm

    Hey, thank you so much! So glad you liked it. The main problem with life is that we take so many important things for granted. Isn't it? and I hope you stay around for long. Thanks for writing in 🙂

    Reply
  10. Surabhi says

    August 23, 2013 at 4:53 pm

    Hey Corinne,

    Glad to hear from you. SO very right.. we take some senses for granted. I hope we start doing that just a little lesser.

    Reply
  11. Surabhi says

    August 23, 2013 at 4:55 pm

    You are very right Swapna. meeting with such pple often makes us realize some very important pple and some very wise lessons.

    Reply
  12. Roshni says

    August 23, 2013 at 10:47 pm

    Such a wonderful story! Thanks so much for sharing!

    Reply
  13. beingFab says

    August 24, 2013 at 1:29 am

    Moms really do have super powers – I remember how my Mom used to call me at my college hostel, exactly on my really bad days; as if she knew something was wrong. This is such a beautiful story and makes us realize a lot of our blessings that we take for granted.

    Reply
  14. Surabhi says

    August 24, 2013 at 10:59 am

    Thankyou Roshni.. very happy to know that you liked it and thanks for writing in.

    Reply
  15. Surabhi says

    August 24, 2013 at 11:01 am

    Thats on bang. Moms are super women! And I also feel that we can hardly matchup their love and compassion with our kids. Atleast thats what I think about myself.

    Thanks a ton for writing. 🙂 Very pleased.

    Reply
  16. Anonymous says

    August 25, 2013 at 11:37 am

    Doing great Surabhi…Now in Bahrain..Really hot country..Cant go out 🙁
    Ya,it would be tough for you to go bac na…it is such a beautiful place..n now back again to busy and hectic city life would be lil lifeless na..

    Reply

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Surabhi Surendra

Hi!
My name is Surabhi Surendra and I love my name as much as I love myself. I believe it’s good to live. You can read more on About Page. Read More…

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