In a marriage, arguments are often seen as the culprits. In absent mindedness, we often come to believe that argument is like a demon who hits our relationship on his own and that is why when asked about arguments, we say ‘we don’t argue knowingly, they just happen’.
While arguing is never fun and is hardly encouraged, there are times when arguments can actually do more good than harm.
The earlier the better – Having conflicts in the early years of marriage is actually a good thing if you let it be. Couples who fight in the beginning sort out most of their conflicts in the early days and get to know each other a lot better with time. This helps them immensely later on as they are aware of their partner’s shortcomings and strengths. While the couples who do not try to learn about each other in the start face problems a bit later. Do not let these fights scare you. It happens but make sure you pick the lessons at the end of it and learn from it. Try to resolve your arguments and reach a solution. This will make arguments a stepping stone for your relationship.
Arguments let you open up – The easiest way for a person to open up is while arguing and it holds good for almost everybody. We speak our minds when we are not guarded and let loose control of ourselves. That is when we utter even the slightest of what we have in our mind. The same possibly applies to your partner. Thus, in an argument if you listen to what your partner has to say instead of simply reacting to it to win the argument, you will know a lot about your partner. Particularly the things that he hates the most. This does not imply you start picking up fights with him but if you get into a spat with him, sit and listen to what all he has to say. He will speak his mind and you will get to some not-so-good things about yourself, which is an opportunity for you to improve upon yourself.
One argument resolves one area of conflict – The most important thing about an argument is that if both of you decide to work it out, you can resolve your conflicts. Once that heat is settled down and you are calm enough to hear out each other, talk and discuss and come to a conclusion. Resolving problems in this manner helps you in making the best use of the worst.
Make up after each fight – Make a point that none of you goes to bed angry. Even if you think it was entirely his fault (which we usually think and which is rarely true) make up with him. He is after all your life partner and you do not want him (and yourself too) to wake up upset next morning.(though sometimes getting a good sleep can actually automatically calm down a super heated argument). Making up after each fight brings an end to it and closes the altercation. Also, there is lot of fun in making up. So, even if its for the sake of fun, make up.
Arguments are as natural to a couple as love. But if you argue that does not mean you do not love each other. Maybe you argue so much because you love each other a lot. So next time, you find yourself involved in an argument, sit back and hear him out. After he sobers down, talk to out with him and voila, you have one issue resolved!