‘Golden ratio’, ‘Barbie figure’, ‘Picture perfect’, ‘Size Zero’, ‘36-24-36’, ‘fair-skinned’, ‘TDH (Tall – Dark-Handsome)’ – these are some of the commonly used parameters that we all use in some fashion to judge a person’s face and body.
Who defined these standards and why do we blindly follow them? The younger generation that otherwise likes to walk on the roads less travelled – why has that generation so easily fallen prey to the media generated hullabaloo of defined beauty?
Media defines beauty from time to time. Size Zero was hyped when Indian actress Kareena Kapoor reduced herself to bones and now it’s a passé`. With ‘The Dirty Picture’ promos doing the rounds frequently on TV, debates have again started on ‘is thin really in’? Bootylicious and voluptuously curvy Vidya Balan (as Emraan Hashmi calls her – ye moti) has challenged the modern beauty criteria that wants women to be skinny, donning a wavy hair style and matching accessories.
Traditional Indian beauty has always been represented by gorgeous looks, lush curves and fleshy limbs. Khajuraho and Ajanta and Ellora stand as a blunt testimony to this fact. Matahari, the sexiest woman spy ever, was curvy but not at all flimsy. When Chloe Marshall became the first size 16 girl to reach the finals of Miss England contest in 2008, it raised many eyebrows. While if you look at photographs of fully dressed Ms. Chloe, you understand how she managed to reached the finals. She is beautiful. She may be fat or whatever but she has a cute, smiling, pretty face.
Women and their struggle with perfect beauty is an old story and also probably never ending. According to a study, 95% of the women are not happy with the way they look. The ISAPS Global Survey reveals that US leads the list of countries with the highest number of cosmetic surgeries done every year. And Voila! Our own India comes at no. 4.
Here comes the question – why doesn’t the wiser sex break off all the stereotypes and free itself of such image-obsessed and figure-conscious flash lights? Reasons are simple.
Number one – companies and agencies do not want women to be satisfied with their looks.
Indian cosmetics market is increasing like never before. In 2008, the Indian cosmetics market stood at $2.5 Billion and in 2010 it reported a staggering rise to $9.3 Billion! Also as per a recent ET report, women have become the main purchasing power and hence it is important to lure them to sell products. So we clearly see that if women become happy with how they look, where does the gigantic cosmetics industry go?
Companies have a vested interested in doing so and the advertising industry is simply playing the game with smart moves. A deodorant ad shows girls swooning over a bare chest male or many hunks trying to woo the babe. Soaps, shampoos and creams all lead to a beautiful and happy you and that results in a happy married life – after all, your hubby or your boy friend wouldn’t want to leave you if you use the ‘X’ brand of cosmetics. Right?
Ironically, women who are generally touted as the irking bargainers hardly bargain these products with anything. They are so riveted on ‘bodyism’ that from day to night and from dusk to dawn, one mechanism keeps working throughout – self beauty treatments.
Number two – women judge women.
I have hardly seen or heard men judging a woman on her looks so minutely as women do. ‘Oh! She has pimples’, ‘she is good but eye brows are not properly trimmed’ and blah blah! (Read my post: I Let My Daughter Groom Me For A Week: Heres What Happened)
Since the central object in women’s lives now a days is beauty, every woman consoles herself by comparing her with others and thinking, ‘hmm.. am atleast better than her’. Only she does not know that the other woman also thinks just the same!
A woman’s beauty or the idealised beauty matters to women more than it does to men. When a man (let me call him a hunk to symbolise a handsome, brawny man to make it more interesting) finally settles down with a woman, you realize that she is not the typical model look types girl you had imagined. She is a simple, sober and wise girl who probably won his heart and not just his gaze. Men admire beauty without any doubt. But beauty to them is not about perfect hair style or taut legs or M shaped lips. They look for beauty that lasts forever – Beauty of mind, of body and of tongue. A presentable, sensible and decently dressed woman is beautiful for atleast 90% of the men out there.
Number three – getting a sense of purpose
Women who otherwise lack a sense of purpose in life find it easy to focus on beauty fixation. They are not happy with their own self, and not just their looks.
I believe with proper care and attention everyone, from the very beginning, starts to feel being loved and belonged to. And that does the trick. If we love ourselves, we don’t give a damn to what others tell us. Even if it is a mirror!
Kjerstin Gruys, a 28 yr old graduate student of UCLA’s department of Sociology is almost half way through her quest to spend an entire year avoiding a mirror and it also includes her wedding day!
“I am trying to emphasize my appearance less and other parts of my life more,” says Gruys.
Very well said Ms. Gruys.
This post is so refreshing.
I am so thankful to my mother who always told me I was smart and beautiful! I am content with how I look and won my man with sense, appropriate fashion and love.
I will admit that at certain points in my life I have wanted to lose some weight, but I never thought I was fat or ugly. I approached it from I want to be more healthful and that might include losing a few pounds.
My self worth is not wrapped in the clothes that wrap my body and what size they are!
Right. Beauty lies in the mind.. if we think we are pretty, we are.
And parents have to and should play an important role in making their children confident of their looks. and Stephanie.. you are really very good looking. I like your sharp features! 🙂
I go to a Long Island plastic surgery practice for a bit of snip here or a bit of tuck there and I admit that my self-esteem is grounded on my looks. This may be baseless in a world view of "inner beauty," but I think that everyone deserves a chance to choose what they need to satisfy their self-worth.
Agreed Hillary, people are free to choose whatever they wish to satisfy their self worth! But I think we shouldn't be obsessed with it.
I think we are obsesses to look perfect because of the things that we see on TV. We are exposed to those standards and forgot that we are all beautiful in our own ways.
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Yes Maia.. I think you are very right. TV has a major role to play in the way we think about beauty. And you are also right that we all are beautiful in our own ways!
this article is very good.. i just don't know how i missed it.! i had pimples. i got super stressed when some one commented on them and it turn took toll on my skin. Nowadays, i dont care abt any comments or suggestions and find myself getting prettier day by day..! 🙂
Hey Rajiii.. This has always been a top read post on Womanatics. And yeah.. even I dont understand why pple givs so much importance to looks and also I agree we shouldnt even think about looks that much!
It really is something that gets pushed on people from a young age, as it is easily passed on from parent to child. Children are also easily influenced by the media, like their favourite shows that have the main characters all looking the same way, 'tall, long hair, thin, beautiful'. How do you tell a child they are beautiful how they are when they don't feel they look like all the 'beautiful' people they see? A very good article to get you thinking about how much the small things influence how we see ourselves. Thanks Surabhi!
Yeah, I agree and I think its there in all societies. Its about conditioning and body image. I have promised to myself that I would never tell my daughter the standard definitions of beauty and instead would try to make her love herself the way she is. Not sure how I am going to do this. Lets see 🙂
I am glad you liked the article 🙂
I agree with you. This post is truly inspiring. I like your post and everything you share with us is current and very informative, I want to bookmark the page so I can return here from you that you have done a fantastic job
great post and very helping…
Thank you Sarab 🙂
I had read the book THE BEAUTY MYTH as a research scholar and realised that there is a huge political and economic ideology working behind the perceptions of beauty in every age and part of the world.
The core should be being comfortable in your skin always.
You even don't have to read to know the answer.. YEAS YEAS and one more YES. Women are really are obsessed with that!
Thanks for sharing. I hope it will be helpful for too many people that are searching for this topic.
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